He swallowed, her eyes following the muscles in his throat as they moved. “You think the baby was a girl?”
“I don’t know.” Her hand swept across her face, then came to rest on the heating pad over her belly. “I kept having that dream though, so maybe it was. Doesn’t matter now. That’s never going to happen. We’ll never see their face. We’ll never know their name. We’ll never dance with our baby.”
Fourteen
“Do you need anything?” Stone asked, his voice shredded and raw from how fragile Mae looked.
“I need our baby,” she cried. Christ, his chest ached from the need to rip his own heart out and show Mae how it had completely shattered like hers.
“I know, sweetheart. I know. We’ll try again. When the time is right. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. We’ll try again.” Stone pressed a kiss to her temple.
He thought the promise would bring her some peace, but she shook her head against his chest.
“That baby was our only hope,” she whispered. “The only light… we won’t ever get that back. You’ll remember… They were my last hope.”
His breath stuck in his lungs. Surely, if she’d gotten pregnant when they weren’t even trying, then they’d be able to again when they want to try? Stone knew she was exhausted, and in pain, so he didn’t respond, choosing to instead tighten his hold on her as she cried, the pain in every sob almost too much to bear.
“Get some sleep. I’m not going anywhere. Just rest, Mae. I love you.”
“I love you. I loved our baby, too.”
“I know, sweetheart. So did I.” He tucked her head under his chin so she wouldn’t see the tears still streaming down his own face.
He waited as the clock moved slowly through the hour. Bit by bit, her body relaxed in his arms, until finally, he was certain she was deep in sleep.
Stone didn’t want to leave her, but the thoughts racing through his mind were too much. He needed a sounding board. And that’s how he found himself, sneaking out of the bedroom at three in the morning, to call Gunner.
His friend picked up on the second ring.
“Doc, you good?”
Stone swallowed thickly, praying his voice wouldn’t betray him. But the second he started talking, the tears were there. “No, Reap. I’m not.”
“I’ll be there in one minute. Don’t hang up this fucking call until I’m in the room with you. Got it?”
The team all knew a call like that, in the middle of the night, was a call for help. But it wasn’t what Gunner thought. Stone wasn’t a danger to himself. He just needed someone else to know. For someone to tell him how to help Mae. To make sure he didn’t completely screw everything up. And out of all his friends, he knew Gunner wouldn’t sugarcoat anything, which was exactly what he needed. “Yeah. I got it.”
Stone opened the bedroom door again, stealing one last peek at Mae as he heard Gunner moving around on the other side of the call. She was still so pale, but she wasn’t clammy anymore. She wasn’t shaking. Her tears had subsided and god, he was thankful she’d found sleep even if all the pain wasn’t gone.
A soft rap on the door had him closing Mae away beforewalking to let Gunner in. As soon as the door was opened, Stone turned, making his way to the sofa. He heard Gunner shut the door behind him, flipping the lock before joining Stone in the living room.
“Christ, you look like shit. What’s going on? Are you in pain?” Gunner looked him up and down, his hands crossing his chest as he waited for an answer.
“No, I’m fine.” Stone cleared his throat. “Physically, I guess.”
“Okay. So it’s in your head? What? Nightmares?”
Stone ran his hand through his hair before sinking down onto the couch. “Yeah, a nightmare. Except it’s happening in real time. In my life. Mae told me…” Stone groaned, the throbbing in his temples that he’d been ignoring in place of helping Mae stabbing him over, and over, and over.
“She told you what? Doc?”
He blew out his breath and shrugged. “That she was pregnant.”
“Oh…” Gunner smiled as he sat down next to Stone. “So this freak-out is because she’s pregnant? You’re going to be a dad. That’s incredible! Why didn’t you tell any of us before now?”
“I didn’t know. I didn’t know before tonight. She told me after you all left…” His fucking voice caught, the acute pain of the emotions he’d been trying to shove away rising to the surface. “And now it’s gone.”
Gunner’s eyes went wide. “What do you mean?”
