Hadn’t she told Stone that? She wasn’t holding anything against him. She desperately wanted to figure out where they stood. To help him get better. To figure out what the baby meant to him…
“What aren’t you saying?” Sloane broke the silence Mae was only faintly aware had settled between them.
Mae continued to stare into her tea. It had long since gone cold, as she sipped tentatively, waiting for her stomach to revolt like it had every morning recently.
“He was struggling. Before all this.”
“Really?”
“Mhm. It was the reason he was so sure we needed to break up. He had a nightmare… and one night while he was still asleep, he grabbed my arm. It was nothing. I could have done the same thing to him in the same state. But he saw those red marks on my arm and it feels like that was it. That was the moment he latched onto. And that was the reason he didn’t… the reason he couldn’t… choose me. What if he doesn’t want to come back to me?” Mae grabbed the napkin next to her plate and wiped at her wet eyes.
“Mae, if there was just one thing he wanted to come back for, it would be you. I know that maybe it doesn’t feel like that, with how everything was left, but I know that’s the truth.” Sloane reached into her purse and brought out her phone. “I’m going to reach out to a few of my colleagues that I know work with complex PTSD. I fully believe he is going to wake up, and the best course of action will be to make sure we have the necessary resources lined up for him. He can work through his triggers, and you two can work your way back to each other.”
“I’m not sure he’ll?—”
A text chimed on her phone. The screen illuminated as Mae’s eyes scanned the message.
Rhett:
He’s waking up!
Mae gasped, dropping her phone on the table. Her eyes flew to Sloane, the breakfast sandwich halfway to her mouth.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, setting the food down and dusting her fingers off on her napkin. “Mae? What…”
Mae’s eyes dropped back to her phone. She didn’t dare hope that she’d read the words right. But as soon as her eyes landed on the screen for a second time, and she read them again, her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. She had to move. Had to get back to the hospital. But all she could do was sit there, gulping down breaths that couldn’t quench the inferno raging in her chest.
Sloane got up out of her seat, crouching down next to her.
“Hey. Look at me, okay?”
Mae nodded.
“Just breathe.” Sloane took an exaggerated breath in while Mae stared at her like a lost baby lamb. Finally, Mae did the same. They held it for what felt like an eternity before Sloane released the hold, and she followed. “Tell me what’s going on?”
“Rhett just messaged me. Stone…”
“Oh, god. What happened?”
“No, it’s good. It’s so good.” Mae heard the tears in her own voice before she felt them welling in her eyes. “He’s waking up, Sloane.” The words left her breathless as her friend’s arms wrapped warmly around her. “Can you… Oh, God. I’m sorry to?—”
Sloane stepped back with a smile on her face. “Go. I’ve got this covered. I’ll call everyone, and be right behind you!”
Mae nodded, wiping her hands down her shirt before she grabbed her phone and turned, heading out the front door of the cafe. Thank God she was just across the street from the hospital. It would have killed her to be back in Silver Springs. Still, the traffic was a nightmare on that particular corner.
Mae pushed her finger into the button at the bottom of the light post. If she’d been asked anytime before that moment, she would have blatantly said those buttons wereuseless. Just a means to appease people who were too impatient to wait for the crosswalk light to change on its own. But there she stood, jamming her finger against it over and over again like a lunatic.
She turned, angling her body to see the traffic lights. As soon as the main street light turned yellow, Mae took off toward the edge of the sidewalk. Five or six other people stood at the corner, but she didn’t apologize for bursting past them the moment the crosswalk sign changed from an aggressive red hand to an illuminated person.
Her fast paced walk turned into a slightly panicked sprint as she felt the minutes ticking by. There was this unnameable pressure, settling in deep against her breastbone, pushing her to get to Stone before he was fully awake. Because she wanted him to know that she’d been there. That the fight they’d had didn’t mean she stopped loving him.
Finally, Mae ran through the automatic doors that led into the hospital. She needed to get to the fifth floor, but as she rounded the corner to the elevators, her heart sank. One was marked off with caution tape, a change from when she’d gone to lunch with Sloane. The other had a group of about twenty people waiting as the light above counted down the floors.
Well, that made her decision easier. Mae’s high heels clicked as she charged across the linoleum, making her way to the stairwell. But just two floors up and Mae was already fighting off an infuriating bout of nausea. Slipping her heels off and holding them in one hand, with the other hand pressed firmly against her belly, Mae leaned her back on the cold cement wall.
“Okay, peanut. I hear you. We’ll go a little bit slower. But I’ve got to get us to your daddy.”Oh, fuck.Tears blurred her vision as she tried to blink them away. It was the first time she’d let herself think that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t have to do parenthood all on her own.
The door clicked as Mae bent forward slightly, resting her hands on her thighs.
