“We’re not going,” I said firmly. “Not unless you actually rest.”
She shook out of my hold. “Gods, Rhyan! You don’t get to decide that. We’re on equal ground here. Partners, remember? This isn’t the fucking chain of command!”
“Lyr,” I growled. Gods, we’d just gone over this. “Auriel’s fucking bane.” I froze. My chest tightened. It felt strange to say that now.
Lyr paled. “I am actually, aren’t I?” She gave a shaky laugh, a nervous, profoundly sad smile spreading across her face.
“No. No. That’s not what I meant. Wearepartners. And you’re strong as hell. It’s not about that. Okay? I just … please rest. With me. Do it for me. Because …” I swallowed, still finding it difficult to admit weakness, even in front of her. “Because I need it.”
Her eyes searched mine, and I watched as she examined my face, frowning. Finally, she nodded in agreement.
Maybe I looked worse than I realized. It didn’t matter. She’d agreed. I could practically sigh in relief now that she was safe in my arms again. Seeing her face covered in blood had distracted me from my own exhaustion. But now that everything had slowed down, I could feel just how affected I was, feel it down to my bones. I desperately needed to close my eyes. And I wanted Lyr’s body wrapped around mine when I did, even if we were fighting.
I reached behind her knees, and scooped her into my arms, walking us both back to our bed. Laying her down, I carefully pulled the stack of blankets away from the fire.Then I crawled in behind her, gathering my cloak over us. My arms wrapped over and under her, holding her against me, our legs tangled together.
Her breath began to slow, her shoulders delicately rising and falling. I reached beneath her shirt again, splaying my hand across her belly, reveling in how soft her skin was. In how she was finally starting to warm. She made a soft noise of satisfaction and snuggled closer against me.
“I hate fighting with you,” she murmured.
“I hate it, too,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“Me, too.”
My heart pounded, as I dared to ask the other question in my mind. “Lyr? Will you promise me something?”
“What?” She snuck her hand over mine, holding it beneath her top.
“With this new ability to heal …” I trailed off, my eyes burning as it all hit me at once. What she could do now was amazing. Miraculous. And yet, nothing could be more dangerous for someone like her, someone who cared so much for the ones she loved. Someone who wouldn’t hesitate to give her life for another. Someone who had died in a past life doing just that.
It scared me so fucking much. Both times she’d called on her kashonim with Asherah, it had drained her. And this? This was a direct connection to the Valalumir, a celestial force not even capable of withstanding the earthly plane. The Valalumir was the most powerful light in existence, but here, it was in crystal form, and broken into pieces, with one exception. The one slice of the Red Ray, burning inside Lyr, inside her incredibly mortal body.
Gods, I wanted to reach inside of her, toss out that damned contract, hug her to me and never let go. I wanted to keep her safe. Keep her warm. Forever. But I had to settle for this. Just holding her to me. And asking. Begging.
“Rhyan?” she said, her voice was heavy, already coated with oncoming sleep.
“Promise me something,” I said. “Promise you’ll be careful. That you won’t overextend yourself with the healing. Use it sparingly. Only if you absolutely must. That’s all. That’s all I wanted to ask.”
She didn’t answer.
“Partner?” I said.
But she’d already fallen asleep, her breathing slowing, deep, and even. I leaned forward, suddenly aware that my own energy felt restored. My eyes had been drooping, but now I was all at once, completely wide awake. Like my tiredness had been taken. Like I’d been healed.
A small golden glow emanated from beneath her tunic.
Shit. My stomach turned, guilt and worry warring inside of me.
I laid my head down, and listened to her breathe, my heart pounding as I watched the fires burn.
CHAPTER EIGHT
TRISTAN
The snow had melted in Bamaria, but I was still cold. It was a week after thesituation, but the chill I’d felt that night still clung to my bones. No matter how many fires I set, how much alcohol burned through my belly, I felt it. Felt the memory, felt haunted by the images I couldn’t stop seeing in my mind.
“I’ll still get you.”
I blinked rapidly, reminding myself that it wasn’t real. That it was over. That I had a duty to perform. A show to star in. I stood at that moment in the center of the Katurium, my silver belt shining in the late morning sun. The stadium was full of Lumerians, clapping and cheering as Naria gripped my hand. We’d walked out together, beaming. And now that we were standing here, our bodies stilled, the crowd was growing restless. I supposed after two years of openly courting Lyr, I now had to prove that that part of my life was truly over. Even after weeks of seeing us together, and all the political upheavals we’d endured, it was still my job to entertain them as I once had. To entertain them more.
