Fuck. Hadn’t that been all that Lyr had done the last two years? Hiding her cuts and bruises as she took care of Meera alone, as she healed her and protected her, vision after vision. Then she’d taken care of Morgana, too. Had barely slept those first few weeks of training while she was trying to be everything to everyone.
That same exact personality trait that had cost Auriel his soulmate.
The sorrow and grief I’d remembered in my vision and in my dream was now pulsing through me. The loss was ancient, but it suddenly felt too fresh and near. I could feel the loss of Asherah, and right at that moment, it felt as if I was losing Lyr. It was like a warning. One I would heed. I would never let anything happen to her again.
“We are going to rescue Jules,” I said urgently. Lyr hugged her arms around herself, her face full of anguish, her eyes refusing to meet mine. “Lyr. Hey! Look at me. Look. Partner, look at me. We are!”
She looked but shook her head. “Really? Partner?” she spat.
“Yes.Me sha,me ka, Lyriana.”I pressed my fist to my heart, tapping it twice before I flattened my palm against my chest. “We will. But we’re never going to get her back if we don’t do this right.” My voice was harder than I’d meant.
Lyr’s nostrils flared. “And who says you’re the one to decide which way is right? That you’re in charge? Because you were named my apprentice? But you forget, I have my magic now. I’m stronger than I ever was before. I can fight. You know I can.”
“Not this second you can’t!” I hissed.
“For just going to the library?” she yelled. “Gods, Rhyan.” Her aura snapped with annoyance. “You’re not actually incharge here.” Her voice lowered. “I’m not in your bed right now.”
“Godsdamnit, Lyr! I’m still your apprentice!”
“But not my Arkturion!” she spat. “I never signed up to be part of your legion!”
“That’s not what I—fuck.” I took a step back, trying to calm my racing heart before I said something to make it worse. “Lyr, listen to me. Please. We’re notjustgoing to a library. This isn’t Bamaria, and we’re no longer Heirs. Soturi from both ends of the Empire are hunting us. We have to be ready for anything, ready to fight. Get in, find what we need, and get out. This isn’t a library visit. It’s a battle. And anything can go wrong.”
“Lyr, Rhyan’s right,” Meera said softly.
There was a dangerous flash in Lyriana’s eyes as she looked at her sister. Something silent passed between them.
“Lyr?” I asked.
Her aura darkened, her face twisting, moving from anger to something that looked very much like heartbreak. “You didn’t see what I saw,” she said quietly. “The lion … Jules … the terror in its eyes, her voice ... ” Her eyes watered. “We can’t leave her like that.”
She was closing in on herself. I knew that look. She was close to a panic attack. Forgetting to breathe.
“Lyr.” I stepped into her space, and pulled her into my arms, rubbing my hands up and down her back, breathing slowly for her. It was a good sign that she let me, that she didn’t pull away. Those were her worst times—when she wouldn’t even let me help. When I had to coax her into receiving even basic comfort. She was so angry with me just now, I wasn’t sure she’d let me. But thank the Gods, she did. I kissed the top of her head. “I swear on my life, we are going to get her back. All right? You trust me, don’t you?”
She exhaled sharply, then her arms tightened around me and she nodded, burying her face in my chest. “I do.”
“I trust you, too. We will succeed. But with a plan. The stakes are too high. If we’re entering the capital, there can be no mistakes. We’re not going to get a second chance. Neither is Jules. For her sake, we need to do this right.”
Her arms tightened around me in response.
And I took a deep breath. “We do have to leave this cave before tonight though,” I said. “My father’s men will reach these cliffs by sunset, and I’d rather not test the wards against the number of soldiers I counted.”
“Where are we going?” Meera asked.
“There’s another cave I know. It’s at the base of a cluster of mountains, outside the eastern villages. And it’s close to the library. I scouted the landscape this morning and it was empty. It’s farther east, which is good—the soturi I scouted are coming from the west. Once we’re there, we’ll be able to reach the border fairly quickly when we need to leave.”
Which meant I’d have less far to jump. Something I needed to be mindful of with every move we made. Traveling now meant covering the distance three times. Once carrying Meera, once returning back for Lyr, and then a third trip, carrying her with me. It was starting to wear me down, far more than I wanted to admit.
“Afterwe travel tonight, and I rest, we go to the library,” Lyr said.
I offered a small smile. “As long as the coast is clear, we’ll go. We’ll look for the blueprints and anything else that might help.”
“Thank you,” Meera said. “I saw you brought some vegetables back. I’m going to make some stew for everyone to eat before we leave. And Lyr,” Her eyes lingered on her sister, “Rest.” Meera’s expression hardened, before she turned and left us alone.
“How soon can we go?” Lyr asked, her eyes searching mine.
I slid my hand up through the back of her tunic, to the nape of her neck. Still cold. My fingers pushed into her pressure points, squeezing and kneading the tensed muscles.
