“You’re sorry. So? What does it matter?” She shrugged. “Let me guess. You still want to ship me back to Bamaria, keep me out of your way so you can protect Rhyan?”
“And protect you,” I shouted. “Meera! I wake up in the middle of the night to watch you sleep. To make sure you’re still here.”
“Of course, I’m still here,” she snapped. “I’m not Morgana.”
I flinched hearing her name. We’d barely discussed her, barely let ourselves say her name out loud. It was like a dance between us, an unwillingness to confirm her betrayal.
“But, Meera, you’re also—” I hugged my arms to my chest, my eyes hot with tears I refused to let fall.
“What? I’m what?” Her aura darkened. “Go ahead. Say it.”
“You’re … Meera, please,” I begged. “I just want … I need you to be safe.”
“And you don’t think I can be? Because I’m vorakh? Because I’m a liability? Or is it because you think I’m too weak and fragile? You think I can’t hear your conversations with him at night?”
I stilled.
Meera grimaced. “I know I failed you as your big sister. And as Heir Apparent. I know I fucked up by naming Arianna as our next Arkasva.”
“You didn’t though. Not once! No one knew about Arianna, not even Morgana. She could fucking mind read and she didn’t know! She tricked all of us!”
“And yet, it doesn’t matter. Because the truth is all over your face. I’m a powerful mage, I was trained to rule, one ofthe best in the Mage Academy. And even if I don’t have my memories yet, I know I was a Guardian. I feel it in my soul. But still, still you don’t think I’m enough.”
My eyes searched hers, looking for the right thing to say. The right way to explain. “No. No, I—”
“Gryphon shit. Just—” Meera shook her head. “Forget it.” Turning her back on me, she stormed off to her alcove, but not before she lifted her stave. Every remaining light in the cave was vanquished. Smoke filled my eyes as the darkness smothered my body. “Here you go,” she called, her voice bitter. “Practice with that.”
“Meera!”
But she was silent. I could feel more tears boiling. The air of the cave was suffocating, the walls too close to each other. I didn’t want to be trapped in there anymore. I needed fresh air. I needed to get out. Get away. I followed the faint light that shined through the mouth of the cave, hearing the hum of the protection wards as I stepped outside.
I sheathed my stave at my hip. Rhyan had bought a mage scabbard for me on one of his outings. It was soft black leather that reminded me of his Glemarian armor. A sun had been stitched onto the front above silver gryphon wings, the sigil of Ka Hart. Inside, “L.B.” had been painted in gold. He’d had it personalized for me from the vendor when he bought it. He’d shyly handed it to me, saying he wanted to make me smile. It had.
I took a deep breath, and prepared to move through the One Hundred and Eight postures of the Valya as my warm-up. Reaching my arms above my head, I stretched, then bent forward, my palms easily touching the snowy ground. My calves no longer burned the way they had months ago when I started training. But as I stretched now, I could feel even more ease in my legs. More energy. I pressed my handsdown, my elbows bending as the stretch deepened even further. Slowly I breathed in and out, trying to clear my mind.
I rose up, my arms stretching back to the sky and I repeated my movements, bending again. There was a sudden shift in the air around me, an unnatural cold that seeped down to my bones. Yet there was no wind outside. The trees were still. My teeth chattered, and I turned, scanning the horizon. There was nothing. And then it hit me. The cold was coming from inside the cave.
Meera.
I turned, racing back, my stave out as Meera’s scream pierced through the humming of the wards, as I yelled out, “Ani petrova vala!” Light flared against the stone walls, the torches flickering to life. “Meera!”
She was curled up inside her alcove, her body all sharp angles twisting in her cloak. The spring which had been trickling only moments before was now frozen, the ice crackling and popping.
“No!” she screamed, her face contorted with pain. “No!”
“Meera! Meera, it’s okay! I’m here.” I ran faster, sliding to my knees the last few feet, and reaching out for her.
She thrashed anew as soon as she sensed me, trying to fight me off. But I was ready. I overpowered her, pressing her back to the ground, careful of her head, as I pushed her back onto her bed of blankets.
“Meera,” I yelled, “come back. Come back to me.”
I held her face with both hands, pressing my forehead to hers, doing what I always did. The thing that always worked, that always helped when nothing else did: seeing my face, hearing my voice, being as close to her as I could get. Morgana and Father couldn’t ever help her, but I could. I always could.
Blood gushed from her nose, her body shaking as it splattered onto her lips.
I tightened my hold, my palms pressed to her cheeks.
A light flared where we touched, bright and golden between us. Suddenly there was warmth inside my chest. I looked down with worry, realizing the light had come from me. From the star in my heart. But taking my attention off Meera had been a mistake. As soon as I looked away, I was thrown backwards. Not by Meera but by some other foreign force.
