“I know.”
“Rhyan, you’ll forget soon, forget what makes you, you. You’ll forget a lot from your life, not the details, not the history, but the meaning. The way things felt. You’ll forget what was important. Yet, if you can remember anything, remember this. Don’t give up.”
Don’t give up?But it’s already too late.
“Remember.Ani janam ra,” she says.
And she’s gone.
And I scream.
Because it’s agony. Because I’m dying. Because I’m changing. Because my body is expanding and growing and I can see the tears in my skin, and feel myself ripping apart. A monster is cutting through me, becoming me. I can feel my jaw swelling and my fangs cut through my tongue and my chest is pushing itself out and out and out. Like I’m searching. Searching for my soul. Growing big enough to fit something that feels infinite back inside me.
But it’s gone. And I’m empty.
It’s too late. My body’s on fire. And it’s dying.
No.
It’s dead. As am I.
I already know it before I look down at myself, at my destroyed, and newly made form.
I’m akadim.
And I’m alone.
I rise, and everything looks clearer. I can see in the dark, as if it were day. There’s no light. But I don’t need it anymore. Everything looks different, because I’m seeing the trees from a new height. The ground is farther away than I remember. The sky is closer.
“Don’t give up,” says a voice in the air. It was familiar until a moment ago.
But now, I can’t … can’t remember. Can’t remember who spoke to me. Can’t remember who was here. Whose touch still feels like a ghost on my skin.
I just remember a girl. A girl with hair that shone red in the sun. A girl with gold specks in her eyes. A girl who’s too far away for me to reach. A girl who causes an ache and a hunger to burn inside me. I want to find her.
“Don’t give up,” the voice says again.
I growl. Because I find her voice grating. And I’m hungry. I am so fucking hungry. More hungry than I’ve ever been. And all at once, I feel it. The need to feed, the need to hunt. I need blood. I need life. I want to eat. I want to drink. And I want to fuck.
I stalk through the forest, and I find a deer. It’s dead before it knows it. And Gods. The blood makes me feel alive. Makes me want more. But I’m not satisfied. It only makes my hunger deepen. I can already tell from this feeling that I will never feel satisfied.
I scent the air, my sense of smell unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I can detect everything now, every note. I can smell the ocean in the distance, the salt in the air, the fish in the sea. The nearby droppings of a deer, and another rabbit. I can smell the ants, the worms, the earth. Everything.
But there’s something else. Something I want far more. Something I hunger for with a burning, bleeding desire.
There’s a girl nearby. A mage. In her twenties. I can tell all of this from her scent. And I want her. I need her. I must feed.
Because by the forsaken Gods, I’m starving.
Before I know it, I’m running, scenting her in the air. Smelling jasmine and incense. Something familiar. Something feminine. I’m fast, and getting faster, moving quickly, seeing more life, smelling more scents, getting closer, and closer.
Jasmine.
Incense.
Blood.
Sweat.
