“Betting against your best friend. Real fucking nice.”
“I’m not betting against you!” I said. “I’m trying to keep you safe!” I gestured towards the habibellum happening before us. “This is a bad idea. People are going to get killed. I’ve lost too much already.” I paused, feeling the familiar pang in my chest. “If she was here …” my voice cracked, “Ha—” I stopped. I couldn’t say Haleika, not without crying.
“But that’s exactly why I am here!” he snapped.
All the nights we’d spent together grieving, drinking … I had no idea the anger he was carrying deep down. I’d never realized that calm, logical Galen, Galen who hailed from Ka Scholar, would be the one to carry such vitriol.
“Galen, fuck. Come on. I can’t lose you too.”
But Galen wasn’t listening. “I have to do this,” he said. “I have to make him see. Emperor Theotis needs to see.” His jaw was set and anger was radiating off his aura. “If I can at least look him in the eye, and say out loud what he did, it’s worth it. Don’t you want that?”
My hands fisted at my sides, my own anger pulsing through me. I couldn’t think about it. Couldn’t think about it without feeling the horror washing through me, attempting to drown me and push me back into my grief and shock. I understood how Galen felt. I felt it, too. But there was a strategy, a way to do something. And it wasn’t this.
Gods. I had enough to worry about. Least of which was what was still happening to me.
I sat back, watching as Galen began to fasten the clasps of his golden Bamarian armor around his chest.
“I need to stretch,” Galen said. “If you’re going to be like this, then I don’t need you here. Don’t try to hand me money and claim you support me, not when I know what you’re really doing.”
“Auriel’s fucking bane. I’m not betting against you,” I hissed. “I’d never bet against you.”
“Then what?” Galen’s voice darkened.
I was trying to form an alliance, trying to find any soturi I could bribe, and convince them to make Galen a target. I wanted them to get him out of the trials. If he wouldn’t leave himself, if his strength wouldn’t fail, then my only option would be to have him disqualified.
The bells rang.
“I want you to be safe,” I shouted. “Don’t you get it. I’ve lost enough. I don’t … fuck. You’re my friend. I don’t want to lose you.”
Galen looked away. “It’s not just me,” he said. “His Majesty has been losing his popularity for a long time. Do you knowhow many people are here who want to see the Emperor be held accountable? How many more wish to see him fall?”
I leapt up from my seat, and gripped his armor, pulling him toward me.
“Fucking listen to yourself,” I hissed. “You’re speaking of treason.”
“I’m speaking facts.”
“Fine. Facts. If there’s others who want to bring an end to …” I paused. I didn’t want to speak treason. I couldn’t afford to. My existence was treason enough now. “If others want that, let them then. Let them take care of it. But you? You do nothing.”
“I loved her,” he said.
“And I didn’t?” I said. “She was my cousin. I loved her.”
“It’s not the same,” he said.
I shook my head. “What about Leander?” Her apprentice had been her lover, too. Not just Galen. I couldn’t understand why he was so driven when I was still not sure if Haleika had truly returned his affections.
“I don’t care. I know she loved me. And I loved her—even if she loved others, even if she loved them more. They’re not here. He’s dead. It’s up to me. Anyway, you’re one to talk. Let’s not forget Lyriana. And yet, you’re going through all the motions—and I mean all of them—with Naria.”
Lyr. She didn’t love me. Not the way she loved the forsworn. And yet, when I thought about her in danger, or what the Imperator had demanded of me, I wondered if I, too, would have the strength to defy it, to fight back. If the forsworn couldn’t do it, could I step up, even knowing where her heart was?
“I’ve got to go,” Galen said. He pinned a flag to his armor. The number forty-four. Then he glared at me. “Just stop. Stop what you’re doing. You want to stay out of this mess? Play it safe? Keep the status quo?” He leaned toward me.“Then do it, Tristan. Do it. But nothing changes unless someone does something. And if no one does, there will be another Haleika. Even if I wasn’t the love of her life, it doesn’t matter. It’s as good a cause as any. Someone has to do something. And it won’t be Leander. Or you, or Ka Grey.” He stepped back, before I could say anything, and then ran out into the arena with the others.
I sank back against the bench, my gold coins still in my hand. Utterly fucking useless. What good was money if I couldn’t use it to help my friend?
The Katurium mage walked out onto the field and new silver circles to bind the fighters were drawn. A few of the soturi I’d spoken to, Galen’s competition, walked onto the field, and noticing me, dipped their chins in respect.
I looked away.
