“Because he needed another angle. You told me so yourself, he escalates his threats—he finds new ways when his authority fails, or when pain isn’t enough. He knew he had to do something more than just blackmail us. He knows he can’t fight you unbound, not unless you’re behind bars.” I looked uneasily at his stomach. “And he saw what I could do downstairs, he saw the power I can invoke—the kashonim I possess with Asherah.”
Rhyan stiffened. “I wish he’d never seen that.”
“But he has. There’s nothing we can do except use it to our advantage. He knows deep down inside that I have power he can’t compete with. Power that he wants to control. He told you he knew years ago. He needs me on his side, needs me to have a reason to want to be here. I almost escaped the Seating Room. I almost had you freed. And he knew that, too.”
“He knew,” he said quietly. “Lyr, he knew exactly what to offer you.”
“Because his fucking snake had been spying on us in the caves. He knew we were going after Jules, knew we needed to infiltrate the Palace.”
“Then he should know exactly where the indigo shard is and who possesses it. That was his goal, wasn’t it? Take possession, harness its power. It doesn’t make sense that it’s not his priority beyond controlling us.” He sighed, his voice despondent. “Fuck, Lyr! Every move we make can’t just be about rescuing Jules!”
“Why the fuck not? You gave me your word! You swore. You swore you never broke an oath!”
“I’m not breaking one now!” he yelled, standing up. He began pacing again, his hands running through his hair in frustration. “Gods. Look, Lyr, please. You’re a fucking warrior, and you’re smart as hell—that’s not in doubt. But I also need you to listen now. Because I know my father better than anyone. You want to rescue Jules so badly that you’re makingit easy for anyone who can see it, anyone who can sense it, to manipulate you.”
“Oh.” I stood up, too, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m so easily manipulated? I just caved and bent the knee over one fucking image? After all I’ve done, all we’ve been through? That’s what you think? This is just about Jules, and not every other fucking thing I told you tonight?” I walked away, standing before the fireplace again, cold all over again.
A moment later, there was warmth against my back. Rhyan had wrapped his arms around me from behind. I didn’t move, didn’t soften as he hugged me to him, his hands hot against my stomach. I could feel his breath on my neck, his chest rising and falling against me.
“Partner. I’m sorry. ”
I didn’t answer.
“Forgive me,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Yes, you did,” I hissed.
“Lyr. Lyr, just talk to me. Please.” He ran his hands up and down my arms, as the fire spat and crackled. “Partner?”
The wind howled and I could feel tears pricking my eyes. Suddenly I was reminded of the other thing between us. I was aware of his bed. Aware of who he had shared it with. I looked back, unable to help myself, then trained my gaze back on the fire.
“Gods,” he said. “I used to dream about you being here with me. So many times over the years. But not like this.”
“Please,” I said, my voice breaking. “Don’t.”
“Are you trying to punish me?” Rhyan asked, he was so quiet, I wasn’t sure I heard him at first. “For Kenna.”
My breath came short. “How can you ask me that?” But some small part of me wondered if I was, if that was why I was letting this go on for so long. It felt complicated, like it required a lot of explanation. But maybe some part of mewas fighting with him to ease the pain of knowing what was about to come. A month of imprisonment. Of separation. A chance we would fail, a chance we’d lose everything. A chance we’d lose each other.
“Should I punish you?” I asked, my heart pounding.
“You can if you want,” he said. “Punish me if you need to. Do what you will. I never should have let him blindside you like that. I should have told you about her.”
“You should have,” I said, the backs of my eyes burning. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He sighed. “Because, then I’d have to tell you everything else that happened. What I did to Garrett. What happened to my mother. To Bowen. Dario’s father. The way I failed everyone. It was— still is—so painful. Lyr, I have secrets. Secrets I’ve never told anyone. Except you. Just … not all of them—not yet. But I swear to you, I will tell you everything. Because you’re the only person I ever trusted to see all of me. Even if I’m still scared shitless of showing you.” He pressed me to him, his hands firm against my belly, his nose grazing my neck.
I softened. “You don’t have to be scared. Not because of me.” And much as I wanted to hear everything from him, and knew he needed to tell his story, tonight wasn’t the time. We had bigger problems to face.
As if sensing that, too, Rhyan sighed. “I know. But, when the time’s right, I swear it. No more secrets between us.” He kissed my neck. “Please.Mekara.You’re the last person I want to fight with. Especially here, especially now. I’m on your side. But I am scared. Being back here …” His chest rose and fell against me. “It’s hell. It’s where I lost everything, where I was most powerless to fight back. And the only thing worse is knowing you’re trapped here, too. I just—” His lips moved against my skin. “I don’t see a way to safety for us by working with my father.”
I leaned back against him. “As crazy as it sounds, I truly believe we have to do it this way. Rhyan, I need you to trust me. Trust my plan. Trust my reasons.”
There was an old timepiece on his desk that suddenly seemed too loud. Every second, a pebble dropped inside the glass, falling with a clang. Again and again. Each one eating away at my last chance to figure this out with him. At the time that remained between us.
“There’s one more thing,” I said, reaching back, my hand resting against his cheek. “I’m sorry—it’s a lot to cover in one night. But we’re running out of time. Your father’s nahashim will be here soon.”
He held me closer. “Lyriana, I trust your instincts. It’shisI’m trying to understand. If he’s helping you to rescue Jules, it’s not for you. It’s because he has his own reasons, he wants her for himself.”
