Jace’s arm moves from behind the couch so he can sit up straighter, his hand drifting to my leg. His fingers wrap around my entire knee and a few inches above it, causing warmth to spread through my whole leg. As if to completely melt me, the tips of his fingers begin making his signature move of aimless circles, the feeling of them through my tights enough to cause me both insomnia and the desire to want to curl up in his arms.
I move the arm closest to him behind his back and place it between his shoulder blades, rubbing the middle of his spine slowly and smoothly. His eyes flutter closed, and he makes a low hum that I feel through my own frame.
“Okay, you two are clearly having a moment,” Lily’s voice breaks through, “which I support, by the way. And you remind me of an episode I just saw of The Man is a Rake. I loved that one! Anyway, my party people, we need to give out gifts. This baby has me craving my bed more than Rafe craves maple croissants.”
At this, Rafe gasps. “C’est impossible!” His quiet affront has us all laughing.
“Then let’s get this moving before Lily passes out on the couch with a pyramid of chocolates around her,” Graham instructs.
“It’s happened before,” Lily confirms.
Piles of presents are brought to the living room and arranged between us, their tags addressed to each other. Jace shifts slightly in his seat next to me.
“Doing okay?” I whisper in his ear, the scent of him, all pine and sandalwood, like a dreamy walk in the woods.
“I’m good, Starlight,” he says with a grin, that dimple peeking out. “I was just thinking again of how much I want Emmy to have this when she’s older. A group of friends who are close like this.”
I clear my throat of sudden emotion as I look about the room. The people gathered here are some of the most important people in my life, and I love each of their quirks and idiosyncrasies. Graham and Lily are at war as she tries to peel off the tape to take a peek at the gift in front of her. Gently, Graham brushes her hand away. Sparrow looks at Rafe instead of the gift in her hand as he speaks rapid French with a smile, his hands wavingabout. Grey and Boston are huddled with their heads close together, whispering about something that has made her laugh.
There’s so much love in the room, and with Jace beside me, I realize that this is what life is about. Having people nearby who support you and love you but who are also allowed to be themselves, move through their fears, and choose love.
“Yeah, she would be one lucky girl if that were the case.” I push off the couch slightly to press a kiss on his cheek where his dimple likes to hide. His skin is smooth against my lips. I shift to press my forehead into his neck. And then we’re nuzzling, and it’s the holidays, and we’re spending the evening together, and it’s glorious.
“Allez!” Rafe’s voice nearly sings. “Let’s get the Santa’s secret—”
“Secret Santa,” Sparrow whispers.
“Quoi?”
“It’s secret Santa, not Santa’s secret.”
“Why would it—I don’t understand this phrase,” he says with obvious confusion but then moves on. “Okay, we’ll accept it. Let’s get this ‘secret Santa’ gift exchange going. We’ll start with Ivy.”
I lean back in surprise and accept the gift box handed to me.
“C’est parti!” Rafe yells with a whoop, and then we begin our gift-giving tradition.
Christmas music plays on a record player in the corner. Cradling the gift on my lap, I take a minute to glance around the welcoming space again, realizing that this is only the second year the other couples are married (the Durands and the Winnings). Lily and Graham have done so much to this place. They’ve restored the old house into a cozy nook that makes you want to stay awhile and raise a family.
At the thought of Jace and me having a family one day, potentially giving Emmy a sibling, my heart lifts.
“Well, open it!” Lily interrupts my daydream with a yell, and I focus on the gift in front of me. Tearing open the paper, I find a snow globe with a scene from The Nutcracker, a tiny Clara dancing with the nutcracker doll in front of the Christmas tree. Behind her is a tiny mockup of a house, with a night sky and speckled stars visible through the window.
Sharply, I inhale and feel Jace stiffen next to me. With a glance at him, I turn the snow globe over to find a handwritten message on the bottom, which reads: Starlight, our magic will never run out. I loved you then. I love you now. I’ll love you for all time.
And loosely taped to the wind-up mechanism is the piece of ribbon that used to be mine. My lucky charm has returned. My eyes are cloudy through my tears, and I let them fall.
“Don’t lose that now,” Jace whispers. “I hear it’s good luck.”
Without releasing the snow globe, I wrap my arm as far around his shoulders as possible and pull him to me, kissing him with all the emotion I can muster. Our love story may have unfolded quickly, but it’s also unfolded over a lifetime. Gently, his mouth moves over mine, and I can’t bring myself to care about the six pairs of eyes probably watching us, my sense of perfectionism taking a back seat to my love. Because love may be messy at times, but it’s also the most freeing feeling I’ve ever known. His kiss tells me of the way he wants to hold me. It reassures me that he’s always going to protect me. And it’s a promise that he’ll never let me doubt his love.
Another whoop from Rafe breaks us apart. I laugh, trying to hold it together. Yes, I just kissed my handsome hunk of a man, whose heart I want to deeply shelter—even in front of my friends—and I love it.
“I won’t apologize,” snarks Jace, now wearing a hint of my lipstick on his upper lip.
“Clearly, Jace pulled Ivy’s name. Hmm, I wonder how that happened . . .” Lily tries to move to the edge of her seat to reach for another gift but loses her balance and falls back with an exhale. “C’mon, Cruffin! It’s gift time!”
Collectively, a laugh echoes around the room.
