Instantly, my adrenaline spikes. I spin her midair until she’s fully facing me. She’s wrapped in my arms with my left arm under her knees, and my right arm is around her back and waist, holding her close to my chest. With a dazed expression, she looks around as if she’s trying to figure out how she got in this position.
“How did you . . .?” Her eyes are wide, her mouth slightly open as her gaze meets mine.
“Did I hurt you?” The tension in my voice causes her to lean in quickly, a hand moving to rest on the side of my face.
“What? No? It was just an awkward transition, and I shouldn’t have put my foot down . . .”
My chest heaves, the adrenaline starting to move out of my system now that I know she’s okay. But the grimace on my face betrays me.
“Hey, Jace, it’s okay,” she reassures me. “You’ve never done this before. But you’re doing amazing. You are amazing. I can’t even believe you’d want to do this with me.” The genuine awe in her smoky voice sticks to the edges of my brain.
“But I could’ve hurt you.”
“However, you didn’t.”
The adrenaline feels as if it’s ramping up. “What if, because of my lack of experience, you couldn’t dance anymore? I don’t know how I’d keep moving through life if I hurt you again, Ivy.”
When I grit out her name instead of using her usual nickname, her eyes narrow, searching me deeply.
“Put me down, please.” A fierceness enters her words, a rare glimpse of her determination rising to the surface of her skin.
I set her down as softly as possible and straighten to my full height. It’s quickly becoming clear that this was a terrible idea. She’s angry, and I feel the weight of her frustration crushing me. Closing my eyes, I turn toward the backdrop, deciding how I’m going to pack up the paint as quickly as possible and silently praying the roads are now plowed so we can put this night behind us.
“Where are you going?” Her voice stops me in my tracks.
Slowly, I close my eyes and count to three before opening them again. “Just headed to pack up.”
“You don’t want to dance with me anymore?”
The doubt in her voice makes me turn so quickly that I nearly get whiplash. “What?”
Her chin lifts slightly. “You don’t have to dance with me if you don’t want to.”
“That’s what you think this is? That I don’t want to dance with you?” I motion between us, the tension in my framebuilding. The pressure of it stacks against the vertebrae of my spine, threatening to collapse from the weight of the lies that have been crushing me.
“Well, you were just walking away.”
“I’m not walking away; I’m protecting you.”
“How are you protecting me?” She throws her hands out to the side. “To do that, I think you need to stay near me, no?”
I clench my jaw, my brain inconveniently reminding me of the tension in her shoulders when she thought I almost dropped her. While I would never intentionally do so, it’s clear she’s not convinced of that yet. “Ivy,” I begin.
“Jace,” she retorts. “What’s going on? If you don’t want to dance with me, it’s fine.”
“I already said that’s not it.” My teeth are nearly grinding together from my anger over her ever believing that I wouldn’t want to hold her.
“Why are we fighting right now?” Her arms are now crossed, her head shaking.
“Because.”
“Because . . . Why?” Her eyes are on fire, their intensity staggering.
In three steps, I’m back in front of her, but she doesn’t flinch, even though my frame towers over her. “Because you don’t know how beautiful you are.” My voice becomes low and lethal against the fears that I realize are lacing themselves within her mind. “Not want to dance with you? I never want to dance with anyone else for as long as I live.”
Her eyes widen. Her hands drop to her sides, and she looks like the air just left her lungs. But I know I have to get my truth out.
“You’re so mesmerizing that you’re impossible to forget. You make me believe that maybe there is some sort of magic in the world, if only because I’ve seen your face. Ivy, you look at me,and I want to freeze time. But I can’t because it just slips through my hands.”
