I nod, content to savor the weight of his words near my ear. But then I leap into action. “Let’s go, love,” I sing, a smile escaping as I head toward the edge of the tree line, the sleigh ahead. Before I can take two steps, I’m pulled back and spun around in the snow. The immovable statue behind me draws meinto his chest. “Oof!” I say ungracefully, looking into his face. His eyes have grown as dark as the night sky, and I search them, looking intently for something I don’t know if I have the right to say.
“Love.”
I didn’t mean to use the term of endearment with him, but I won’t confess I’m sorry about it. Because I’m not. “What is it?” I tug on his hand, suddenly a bit afraid of his frozen posture.
“You said ‘love.’” His voice is soft but clear.
I laugh nervously but then steady my voice. “I did.”
He nods, the movement so slight I’d miss it if I weren’t so close to his beautiful face. I register his furrowed brows, clenched jaw, and glassy eyes. He’s wrestling with something, and the heat of his stare burns into the blush on my face. But I won’t relent. Jace needs to know I’m a dancer, not a runner. And when he’s ready, I’ll willingly convince him that he’s my love for the rest of my life, if he’ll have me.
I lift my chin and press closer, watching as his eyes track my every move, the truth in my expression my only defense. Taking a deep breath, I wrap my arms around his waist and lean my chin on his chest to stare up at his handsome face. I’m convinced there’s nothing like the feeling of him being near me in the whole world. I keep my voice soft and measured.
“Jace, my gut is telling me that there are a whole lot of lies spinning around your head right now. Untruths that I know make you doubt what we can be. Perhaps hindrances that weren’t between us before but now are because of time or something else. Maybe it’s the wonder of winter or just the magic of being near each other again, but I’d like to tear down those lies together, if we can.”
I watch a twitch of his mouth, a few blinks, and an exhale before the stiffness in his shoulders lifts, and I can almost see him being relieved of a weight I think he’s been carrying sincewe met for the second time. Capturing me with his gaze, he pulls me in again. I lean toward him willingly, waiting until Jace’s lips meet my forehead. There’s a gentle kiss, and then he places his forehead against my own. The soft nickers of nearby horses mimic the gentle galloping in my heart, and the truth burrows deep into my chest.
I love him.
I’ve wanted to love Jace for years. And now I have the opportunity to try. This will be my Christmas wish for the rest of my life.
“Ivy,” he confesses my name like a prayer, confidently and drenched with affection. He clears his throat. “Starlight, I’m sorry I didn’t go to New York for you.” It’s the first time he’s said the words out loud. “Can you ever forgive me?”
I think of Emmy and the fact that Jace was the understudy of his own life when he first returned to Birch Borough, a feeling I know all too well. I think of him with my students and the way he gives everything of himself, every time, even in the unseen moments. I think of myself, combatting both loneliness and the vapor of a future stolen from me for eight long years. So, when I speak, the words pour from my heart.
“You have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t have a choice.”
“We always have a choice.”
“That sentiment may be true, but Jace, I do feel like I need to know. Emmy’s mom . . . is she . . .? Will she . . .?” I don’t know how to finish the sentence, but I see his jaw clench.
“She released custody of Emmy entirely.” At the grit in his voice, my eyes widen, the revelation devastating. “It’s just Emmy and me. And I know our situation is different from what you may have originally wanted, but I'm confident we can work through it if you are willing. There was a time when I made choices that I’m not proud of. Yet, I believe they reflect the man I once was and not the man I want to be. The man I am now.”
It hurts me to think of what he’s gone through, the regrets that he has. “We all make mistakes,” I murmur. “But Emmy is a gift. And I know you know that. Sometimes, the things in which we find the most pain also have a way of giving us the most joy. It’s grace we don’t deserve, but it’s real and true.” I cling to him a little tighter. “Jace, what’s been weighing on you the last few days?”
His gloved hands tug on the pockets of my coat. I’ve realized he refuses to stop touching me in some way for any period of time tonight, ensuring that his hands are placed gently upon me at all times. It’s actually adorable—not that I’d tell him that.
With a fluid movement, he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out something shiny and small. I lean toward it, my mind unable to process what I’m seeing, but it looks like a snipped piece of ribbon from a pointe shoe. It hits me. Not just any pointe shoe—my pointe shoe. I recognize the method I used to melt the edges to keep them from unraveling. I always crack the center part once melted because I’ve always joked that I like to live on the edge. It’s become a habit, and it also makes the pattern distinctly mine.
“Jace,” I marvel.
“I think this belongs to you.”
Tears sting my eyes. “How do you still have this? Have you carried this with you this whole time?”
He shakes his head slowly. “No, I didn’t always. For about a year after we met, I did. And then I put it in a book on my shelf. Later, after Emmy was born, I tried to move on.” He gives a slight shrug. “Once Jenna was gone, though, I’ll admit, I’ve carried it ever since.”
“How long?”
“What?” His voice cracks.
“How long has it been with you?”
Jace’s eyes close slowly before they open again and look off into the distance. “A long time.”
Sharply, I inhale, my fingers wrapping around his, still holding the evidence of the history between us. Life has moved and shaped us, but somehow, it’s also molded us back together. I stare at the ribbon, studying it. There’s a spot that’s nearly see-through, as if his strong fingers have rubbed the fabric like a man trying to make a wish against a magic lamp.
“What happened here?” I murmur.
