“One of the first lessons Chaos gave me is that, although we can do things that help the people we care about, it’s not our place to fix them.” She wets her lips, staring at her brew. “Heprobably doesn’t realize he taught me this, either, but taking on that task will only lead to heartache for you.”
“So, I’m supposed just to watch him suffer?”
“You’re supposed to be whatever he needs at the time. Reassurance, comfort, a guiding hand, or simply a safe place to land. They do things we’ll never know about, things we can’t comprehend. It’s not our job to get inside their heads that way.”
“You sound like a well-trained old lady.” I regret my words instantly.
Her brow furrows, jaw firm as she calmly responds. “We respect each other, flaws and all.”
“Sorry. I…”
“Fell into default mode when judging them?” She lifts an eyebrow, bringing her mug to her lips for a sip.
“Let my upbringing speak for me.”
Vanessa sets her drink down on the side table. “I get it. At face value, it looks as though they don’t respect their women; they treat them as lesser. But the truth is far from it. They keep them out so that the women don’t have to shoulder the same burdens as the men. And it’s not because they don’t think we women are strong enough to do so; women are trusted to keep the children and elders safe in times of crisis. It’s because they don’t feel the women should have to take on that mental toll when the men can do it for them.”
“Sounds very old-world chivalry.”
She shrugs. “Maybe it is. But I think it’s respectable. I grew up in an environment where the men really did treat the women as lesser. As sub-human. What the Kings of Anarchy do is not that.”
I trace my thumb around the lip of the mug. “I just wish Matthew would let me in.”
“He’s not allowed to, even if he wanted.”
“I know. I understand how their rules work. It’s just…” I sigh. How do I word this?
“Hard to establish trust when you feel as though you’re not given it?”
Hit the nail on the head.“Exactly.”
“I won’t pretend I have the answer. Chaos and I still struggle with that.”
“How long have you two been together?”
“Not long. But I feel as though we’ve known each other a lifetime already, given what we’ve been through.”
Perhaps that’s the issue. Jinx and I have spent half our lives apart. There’s so much to catch up on, but at the same time, how much of it really matters now? We did most of our growing and evolving without each other, learned how to navigate the world as adults, and created these versions of ourselves alone.
But Vanessa and Chaos never met until she moved to Temperance. Is it really that much of an issue if Jinx and I lost the past decade to traveling separate paths?
I take a sip of the coffee, muscles relaxing as I sink into the cozy seat. Vanessa wasn’t wrong—she made a haven for us, the ambience soothing with her fire crackling low in the hearth and soft lighting from the fairy lights strung along the wall above. I could lose myself here for hours, and it’s the exact type of atmosphere I want to create for myself in my new home.
Albeit a little less… witchy.
I glance up at the massive painting that hangs on her wall of a crow in a top hat with a monocle. I mean, it’s quirky and kind of cool, but not my thing.
She turns toward me, gaze meeting mine at the same time as I look to her. The distinct rumble of an engine builds in the distance.
“Come on.” She unfolds her leg from beneath her on the chair and stands, heading toward the front of the house.
I follow behind, coffee in hand, to join her on the small front porch. Eyes bright, she seems as curious as I am to see who it is. Will they stop in, or will they pass on by and head up to the farmhouse?
Vanessa glances at me in my periphery as I watch the road. “Chaos is still out on business. It won’t be him.” She loops her arm beneath mine, and we wait as the bike shifts down gears behind the tree line.
They’re stopping in.
Sure enough, a familiar black ride comes into view, Jinx tapping down the gears before he pulls into Vanessa’s short driveway. My stomach tightens, as do my hands on the mug.What do I say?This afternoon’s events changed everything between us, and it’ll either be the pivotal moment that brings us together or the one that pushes us apart for good. I can’t decide which scenario worries me more.
