“Is that seriously your first question?”Kyra fights a smile as she fidgets with her coffee cup. “Oh my God, Jinx.”
“I said I wouldn’t judge, and I’m not. I want to show my support by boosting your view count.”
She kicks me under the table, chin ducked to hide her smile.
“What?” I feign ignorance. “You wouldn’t have told me if you didn’t want me to see it.”
“Quite the opposite, actually. I told you, because I hoped you’d realize why I don’t want to talk about it and back off.”
I study the slight curve of her lips. The way her eyes crinkle the slightest bit at the corners. This whole back-and-forth amuses her, and I’d almost place bets on it being a relief that she can talk openly about what she does.
“What made you start?”
She takes a slow breath, fingertips tapping the mug before her. “We all want the silver bullet. The thing that’ll rocket us toward our financial goals without having to do the hard work. Well.” Kyra lifts an eyebrow, gaze distant as though she recalls the moment that changed the course of her life. “When one of my classmates in college told me how much she’d earned inone month alone, it seemed too good to be true. But then she’d keep showing up with better hair, lashes, makeup, clothes… a car, and she kept giving receipts. It really did pay off.” Her gaze lifts to mine. “She cleared her student debt before we’d even graduated.”
“I can see the allure.”
“I figured nobody ever took much interest in me—I didn’t have a boyfriend to complicate things emotionally—so why not give it a go? Told myself I’d do it for a few months at first. But when I raked in five figures in that third month, it seemed foolish to stop.”
She argues valid points, yet her shoulders curl forward, her face devoid of emotion. She can’t even look me in the eye when she speaks. “You regret it?”
“No.” The answer comes quickly, without need for thought. “Not at all. I just… I can’t see how I can maintain it here. Not when it’s against the law now, and my goddamn daddy is the Sheriff. Besides.” She shrugs. “Do I realistically expect to do it long-term? My body will change as I get older; it’s a game for young women. My priorities will change. I want to get married and have a family someday. What I do for income isn’t aligned with that.”
“Surely the right guy would support what you do?” I’ve seen relationships break down over less, but people’s perceptions are changing. What was once considered utterly taboo is now accepted in most circles.
As long as the law doesn’t find out.
“I think it wouldn’t be fair to my future child if somebody asked them if they know what Mommy does in the playground, you know? If somebody turned me in and Mommy suddenly wore an orange jumpsuit.”
“I don’t think it’s quite that serious.”
She lifts her gaze to mine. “I think it is.”
She has a point, I guess. Kids can be assholes. Their parents? Even worse. I experienced that judgment firsthand, having a father who was the talk of the town for most of my school years. “Seems like you’re doing a lot of soul searching.” I take a healthy swig of my spiked coffee to jar the repetitive thoughts of Kyra online—nude—from my brain.
“I am.” She leans back with a sigh, a weighted silence between us. “What about you? Any grand plans for the future?”
“I take it a day at a time.” Saves falling down a dark hole when I realize I’ll likely be lonely and forgotten in my old age. “Things might be a little shaken up for you, right now, but it’s nice to see you back, Kyra.”
She swallows, hand tightening around her mug. “Thanks.”
“You going to drink that?” I nod toward the cooling beverage.
She runs a hand through the hair falling over her shoulder and smiles. “Yeah. Of course.” The sip seems forced.
“Takes guts to do what you did.”
Her gaze flicks my way.
“I hope you’re still proud of what you achieved.”
The hard lines of her brow soften. “I am. I paid off my tuition, and I came home with enough in the bank to set myself up. Not many people my age could say that.”
“What did you study?”
“Psychology.” She chuckles. “Yeah. It helped.”
I barely manage to open my mouth when a blaze of movement draws my attention.
