Left to my own devices, I decided to go hunting for the cocktails and canapés.
Making my way through the crowd, I spotted Callum lounging by the pool, his feet dangling in the water. He was wearing board shorts and a plain T-shirt. A young woman I didn’t recognise was sitting next to him, giggling at something he’d said.
I grabbed a Lava Flow and made my way over to him.
‘Hi, darling!’ I said cheerily.
He looked up at me in a horrified warning that said,What the hell? don’t you dare embarrass me. So I held my hand up, smiled at him, and moved along.
The twins, in matching white bikinis, were reclining on loungers. Somehow, they were perfectly tanned– their caramel skin highlighted by their white-shell bracelets and turquoise anklets– their youthful bodies taut and toned. Martha, meanwhile, sat curled up three beds down in ripped jeans and a Chappell Roan hoody, her head buried in a book. She looked up and eyed the party wearily, then spotted me and scowled, rolling her eyes. Jeannie had forced her here and given her a lecture for not wearing something at least a little summery. Martha had replied that she’d sooner shave her hair off than get an inch of skin out around perverted old men, to which I’d proudly fist-pumped the air behind Jeannie’s back.
The twins also surveyed the crowd behind their oval sunglasses, Ceecee saying something to Beebee that elicited a smirk from her characteristically miserable face.
‘Hey, Aunt Liv!’ Beebee called, beckoning me over. I made my way to them cautiously and plastered on a fake smile that I knew didn’t reach my eyes.
‘Yes?’ I said as I reached them. ‘Everything all right?’
Beebee sat up and pulled her sunglasses to the tip of her nose. She leaned in conspiratorially, eyeing my gauzy kimono. ‘So, are you on the lookout for men or women? Or both?’
‘Sorry?’ I asked, confused.
‘Your cover-up, the pineapples. Does Uncle Miles just watch or does he join in?’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ I said, scrunching my face.
‘Pineapples is the symbol for swingers.’ Ceecee smirked.
I looked down at the pattern. ‘It’s just a beach cover-up… Miles bought it for me on our honeymoon,’ I said perplexed.
‘Oh,’ said Ceecee. ‘Well, we thought you should know that you’re basically a walking advertisement for a three-way. Upside-down pineapples mean you’re looking for someone to join in or swing with. But hey, maybe that was Uncle Miles’s intention…’
They both giggled.
‘It’s just a kimono. It’s really not that deep,’ I replied haughtily, feeling my cheeks burn.
‘Hey.’ Beebee shrugged. ‘We don’t care what you guys are into.’ She put her glasses back on and they leaned back, signalling that they were done talking to me.
I stalked away, hot-faced and raging.
Fergus was at the makeshift bar. Considering how many empty glasses were next to him he was already on his third Blue Hawaii. He lifted a bowl of pudding decorated with fresh fruit and dug a spoon in.
Jeannie spotted him and bustled over, practically slapping the spoon out of his hand. ‘I’vetoldyou a million times Fergus!’ she barked. ‘That’s Haupia tapioca, it has cardamom in it, you fool!’
He hastily put it back on the bar and looked around for something else to soak up the alcohol. Clem was still nowhere to be seen. I wondered if she was still in bed or if she’d finally emerged, only to take one look at the party and retreat back to the safety of her bedroom.
Mimi caught my eye from across the room and waved. She made her way over to me, navigating the growing crowd of partygoers. A black, tasselled sarong was tied around her hips; she, too, had a toned midriff and expensive-looking tan. Was there a spray-tan booth in the house that I didn’t know about?
‘Hi, Mimi,’ I said, in a way I hoped showed I had compassion for her. She had only just lost her husband, and events had gone so awry it was like it had never happened.
‘Oh, yes, you know me. I’m a fighter.’
‘Yes, I know….’ I trailed off, not quite convinced. ‘Have you seen Clem?’ I asked, changing the subject. ‘Is she feeling any better?’
Mimi shook her head. ‘No sign of her. Fergus said she was still in bed. Perhaps it’s the flu.’ She looked around nervously, before spotting the girls. They were staring at us, and as we locked eyes they sneered and looked away.
Mimi sighed. ‘Could you do me a favour, Liv?’ I don’t remember her ever calling me Liv before.
‘Sure,’ I replied, ‘what do you need?’
