Miles rolled his eyes, ‘Fuck off, Tristan.’
I watched as Mimi took a few steps back in preparation for her shot. I frowned as she raised the gun. Her aim was way off, practically pointing in Tristan’s direction. Surely, she wasn’t going to?—
‘Pull!’ shouted Jim, his eyes already on the skies.
I leaped up from my chair as Mimi aimed.
A crack sounded. Then, a bellowing roar.
Tristan wailed, clutching his hands to his head. I sprinted from the hut over to the group amidst the sounds of Tristan yelling and cussing and turning the air blue.
‘Miriam!’ Jeannie exclaimed. ‘What onearthdid you do?’
‘I-I-I…’ Mimi stammered. She waved the gun around in confusion. The kids ducked out of the way and Miles strode over to her, plucking the gun out of her hands before she could do any more damage.
I got to the group, woefully out of breath. Tristan was on his knees, blood pouring from his head, leaving splatters in the snow next to him.
‘You stupid fuckingidiot!’ he raged.
I sidled up to him. ‘Here, let me see.’ I attempted to pull his hand away, but it was stuck there like a limpet. ‘Just let me see it, Tristan,’ I demanded.
He shakily took his hand away. The top of his ear looked to be missing, and pieces of shot had grazed the side of his head, but there didn’t seem to be significant damage.Shame, the twisted little voice in my head sneered. I walked back to Mimi.
‘You’ll be fine,’ I said over my shoulder to Tristan. ‘Miles, you drive Tristan’s car to the hospital. Jim, would you mind taking the five of us back to the house?’
Jim nodded, his face drawn, clearly mortified and worried that he was about to get slapped with a lawsuit.
‘H-hospital?’ Tristan asked, going deathly pale.
‘You need your ear cleaned up and bandaged. They might need to give you antibiotics.’ I put my arm around a shaking Mimi and led her back down the field towards Jim’s Land Rover.
‘You dumb fucking bitch!’ Tristan yelled after her. ‘You did that on purpose!’
Mimi upped her pace, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. Jeannie stormed after her. ‘My God, Miriam, you could’ve killed him! What were you thinking?’
Mimi shook from head to toe. ‘It was an accident,’ she managed.
Was it?I had to wonder after our conversation this morning. Because it looked to me like she just decided to shoot her husband at point-blank range in front of all of us. And if she did, well then, that just made me love her a little bit.
‘Do you know,’ I said to her as the snow began to fall with more urgency, ‘I had no idea that Mimi was short for Miriam?’
6
OH, CHRISTMAS TREE, OH, CHRISTMAS TREE!
13thDecember 2025
Lady Luck was truly on my side today. Snow! And then we were invited out to the shooting range by Jim who couldn’t believe what rotten luck we were having. How sad for us all that poor old George– the miserly curmudgeon– had finally popped his clogs– and so close to Christmas, too.
Quite a nippy day to be standing out in an open field, though. The clay pigeons were launched and POP! That pompous ass was shot in the head, splatting the freshly fallen snow like a Jackson Pollock. Very festive.
I’ll make sure I get him next time.
Jeannie and the kids had long gone to bed by the time Tristan and Miles had finished up at the hospital. I’d waited up for them, and as the snow came down outside in flurries, I read by the fire with Gloria sleeping at my side.
‘My God.’ Miles ran his hands down his face as he fell back into the sofa.
‘How’s Tristan?’ I leaned forward and put my book down on the coffee table so I could give Miles my full attention. ‘Where is he?’
