I scrubbed at my face and willed away the image of his glassy lifeless eyes that seemed to have burned themselves into my retinas. Was anyone in this household not slightly scarred by seeing him on the floor like that? I had to get my head back in the game.Okay Olivia, think…Sexy,fated lovers.I glanced over to where Miles had taken me against the side of the pool just two nights ago. Perhaps I could use that as inspiration.
I began to type out the scene: my female orc-warrior with her human orc-hunter, finally succumbing to each other in the deep lagoon under the Tendairian waterfalls. I forced my brain and fingers to work in tandem and not think about thatother thinganymore. Or Tristan and Mimi’s argument and what the hell that had been about. Did it have anything to do with what Clem and Jeannie were talking about in the kitchen the other day?
No, stop thinking about that!I resumed typing.
As if my brain delighted in working against me, it rifled through some other pile of dirty laundry and triumphantly held up another but entirely different topic, the forum. That seedy little chat room where my most ardent haters converged to slander me and my writing. I had visited it so many times I could recite the posts off by heart.
BlackP!ll25
Shameless slut…
StaceeBabe
Can you imagine what she says to people when they ask her what she writes about?
NotaChad
Wonder if her parents are proud when they read her filth.
OpinionatedOgre1
It says in her bio she’s married with 2 children. Imagine what her in-laws must think.
FantasyWh0re
Have you seen her socials? Her husband is fiiiit. I’m tempted to DM him and offer him a proper ride.
The comments were emblazoned in my mind. I even recognised the usernames who contributed regularly. My eyes wandered down the laptop screen to the tool bar, where the multicoloured Google widget seemed to call to me.
I hadn’t checked the site in weeks– I’d promised my therapist I wouldn’t go on that website ever again. Miles had made me block it on my phone because at one point I checked it several times a day. I wondered what new things the chat room had been saying since the last time I looked.
My fingers hovered over the touchpad, the temptation gnawing at me.Just one quick look, I told myself. What harm could it do? I’d been doing so well by staying away for months, surely I was strong enough now to handle whatever I might see.
Before I could stop myself, I was on the browser and typing in the forum into the search bar. The familiar site loaded, its garish red and black colour scheme an assault to the eyes. I searched for my pen name.
There it was. A whole thread dedicated to tearing apart my latest novel. I read with morbid fascination as strangers dissected every flaw, every awkward phrase, every cliché. Their words cut deep, confirming my worst fears about my writing.
NotaChad
Jesus H. Talk about amateur hour.
OpinionatedOgre1
How did this drivel ever get past a publisher?
BlackP!ll25
I’ve read better fan fiction written by 12-year-olds.
My pulse quickening, I could feel the blood rushing to my head, my ears roaring with adrenaline and my heart racing as I scrolled, eyes devouring one cruel message after the next.
SickShadowDaddy
Did you see her latest reviews? #shesscrewed
OpinionatedOgre1
Can’t believe she has the audacity to call herself a writer.
