Giddy excitement courses through me.
I shovel the food into my mouth, it’s tender where it should be, crunchy when it needs to be, and perfectly seasoned…but it doesn’t satisfy me. My thoughts drift back and forth between memories of last night and fantasies of what’s to come. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I mindlessly reach for it, not expecting to see the name on the screen or for it to sour the food in my mouth.
Maybe: Tameka
So, Jeremy dumps me, proposes to the woman he left me for…then blows up my phone, leaves a voicemail…and now his sister is calling? The same sister who acted like I fell off the face of the earth when I called her crying about her brother? The sister who treated me like I was family, then discarded me as easily as he did?
My chest heaves with angry breaths. My fork clatters against my half-eaten plate. I leave it and my appetite behind as I storm through the door to the screened-in porch and stare out into the snowy backyard. Frustrated tears pool in the corners of my eyes as I try to figure outwhy.After all this time, I’m putting in theeffort to move on — finally have a slice of happiness, and life refuses to let me have it.
“Hey,” Nick’s voice pierces my thoughts. My brows knit together when he invades my space. His clean scent and the musk of his cologne wrap around me. “What’s the matter?” He asks. I hate it. I hate that nearly every time he’s come across me, there’s something wrong. My mouth falls open before I slap it closed. Compared to what he’s been through, my problems seem so trivial. I refuse to complain, yet again, about how I’m in such a shitty mood because I can’t stop thinking about my ex.
My shoulders roll back as I offer him a watery smile. “Nothing,” I say.
He sighs, diverting his gaze as he nods, resigned.
This reaction stings more than I want it to. It’s like a stone in my heart, each ripple a reminder of how pathetic I am.
“Would you still like to join me?” He asks, his eyes sincere when I meet them. I nod, lacing my elbow through his and letting him lead me through the building. “I have a rental car, and I wanted to explore the town a bit.” He nods to the Bronco parked over in the corner, its wide body sitting on thick snow tires.
“Where are you planning to go? Over the mountain?” I quip.
He chuckles, but he scans my face, and the laughter dies. He sees right through me.
Everything stalls when we climb into the truck. He spins the key ring around his finger, looking out the window before turning to me. “I know I have no right to pry, but I feel pretty helpless having you here like this and not knowing how to fix it. Tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it.”
My nose burns with tears I refuse to shed. There’s concern for me etched into the strength of his brow and folded into the frown of his mouth.
I huff something between a chuckle and a sigh. I’m worried about how he’s perceiving me, and all he wants to do is make me feel better. Will he feel the same way when I’m honest about the reason?
Rae’s advice from earlier glares behind my eyes.
Stop seeking permission, just do what you want.
I swallow against the dryness of my throat. What is it that I want right now? I search my mind for an answer, and when I can’t find one, I search my heart instead. I want him to make me feel better, and I want to get this bullshit off my chest.
“My ex’s sister called me…After you left?”
He nods slowly, turning his head straight ahead. “I didn’t answer,” I rush to add, my heart racing.
His attention returns to me. His brow is raised with a question, but instead of asking it, he makes a statement I don’t anticipate. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
I want to ask why, but the words don’t come. He’s a man made of surprises, and each one is exactly what I need. “I think…I think when you lose someone, it sometimes takes a while to register the weight of that loss. I think maybe he’s looking at this woman he’s about to marry and realized what he lost by leaving you. And if I were you, after all this time, I’d want to know what the fuck he wanted, but I get why you won’t pick up — and if you asked me I’d say he doesn’t deserve the comfort of hearing your voice after hurting you so badly.”
My mouth goes slack and my entire body loosens. I blink up at him, stunned — hungry, again. He leans forward, his breath tickling my skin. “It’s his fucking loss, Krystal,” he says, histongue skating against his bottom lip. “Trust me.” My body is screaming for him to close what’s left of the distance between us. “Ask me again,” he commands.
“Ask you what?”
“Ask me to make you forget,” he confirms.
“Nick,” I gasp.
He follows, chasing the air I breathe in. Plush lips pull against mine, his mouth opening for me. My mind goes blank when his tongue skates against mine. His hands trail up my sides and around the back of my head, deepening the kiss — hunting every memory that haunts me and forcing them out of my mind. I moan into his mouth, thinking only about the smoothness of his skin, the softness of his lips. The only memory left behind is the first time I laid eyes on him, how I knew in the fabric of my soul that he was here for me, and feeling for the first time in forever like luck is on my side.
Nick
We’re both out of breath when we separate. The windows of the Bronco are foggy, and my body craves so much more than just a kiss. But, it’s never just a kiss with Krystal. No, this is something different — special. This feels like once in a lifetime chemistry. At least, it does for me.
She’s looking straight ahead, her chest sill rising and falling violently with each breath she takes. “I…” she begins, swallowing before turning the brightness of her gaze on me. “I don’t want you to see me as a woman still caught up on her ex. I’m not…it’s just…every time I feel like I’m in control again, there comes a person, an event, a song — some stubborn reminder of him, us.”
