Not one of the tools in his arsenal, it had to be said.
The day was interminable.Breaks felt like a new form of torture.And even the final recess for the day didn’t feel like relief because they were going to have to be back here tomorrow.
He wasn’t sure he could do it.Not for days on end.
They filed out of the courtroom.The heavy memories of the day his mother had died like a horrible weight in his lungs.No one said anything.There was nothing to say.
It was dark and frigid when they stepped outside.It almost felt good.It almost felt like salvation.The hard part was knowing it would all repeat itself tomorrow—and perhaps in worse ways as people were called to the stand.
As he and his brothers were called to the stand.
“Christ, I need a drink,” Cal muttered as they walked into the parking lot.
Worry over his brother was mostly new.For a lot of years, they had been adversaries, thanks to Dad and their own stubborn pride Landon could see and admit now.If he’d worried about Cal back then, it hadn’t been likethis.A worry that Cal simply… wouldn’t be okay.That nothing they did could ease his demons and trauma enough to… be okay.
But Cal’s reliance on alcohol these days reminded Landon more and more of Dad in the aftermath of Sandy’s murder last year.
“Everyone will come to the ranch and eat dinner,” Aly said firmly.
“You don’t need to be feeding us after every shitty day, Aly,” Cal said.
Landon thought maybe he was trying to benice, but it came out accusatory and that had Landon’s hackles rising.
“No, but the first shitty day and some of the others I will,” Aly replied, clearly not offended.“Besides, I put together a lasagna last night.All I have to do is throw it in the oven when we get home.Cal, why don’t we drive you?We’ll swing by in the morning and get your car.”
“Sure.”
When Nate and Sam peeled off, Landon put his hand on Cal’s arm.In the dark, Aly didn’t notice he was holding Cal back.Landon spoke quietly, so she couldn’t hear.She was already worried enough, and Landon wasn’t sure how this was going to go over.
“Don’t let the drinking become a problem, Cal.”
Cal was silent for ticking seconds.When he spoke, his voice was full of daggers.“And if I do?”
“Dad went down that route.I won’t let it in my house again.”
“Thought it wasours, brother.”
Landon sighed.Maybe he should have handled this differently.But he didn’t know how else toworrybut to take charge.A year ago, he’d let this blow up into a fight.It might still yet, but he didn’t want tostartthere.
So, he tried, he really did, to rein in his temper.“You can make this another me against you if you have to.But I’m going to hope, deep down, you know that it’s concern.”
Then he let Cal’s arm go and followed Aly to his truck.
Before he said something he’d regret.
*
The fury pumpingoff Cal was a mix of so many things he couldn’t fight any of them.He wasn’t going to get in a damn vehicle with his high-handed brother.
I won’t let it in my house again.Like Landon just got to decide how life went.Well, he should have stepped in and done something about their mother being murdered then, shouldn’t he?
Cal could see it, Dad tossing Mom’s lifeless body into that barn.The fire exploding around him.A replay in his head he wanted to eradicate, and the only thing that worked sometimes was alcohol.Better than the alternative, wasn’t it?Letting it drive him crazy—or maybecrazierwas the right word.Still, a little blackout drunk to take the edges off was hardly the worst he could do.
Landon could pretend what he’d said was worry, but it was judgment.It was lumping him in the same boat as Dad.
Because for fifteen damn years Cal had been Dad’s get-out-of-jail free card.While Gene Price had suffered.Hell, if he extrapolated off of that, Cal wasn’t just to blame for Mom, he was to blame for Sandy too.Because she wouldn’t have been murdered if Gene Price hadn’t needed revenge.
Thiswas why drinking had gone from something to avoid—because when he’d been younger, it had given him nightmares.Nightmares he should have paid attention to because they were just real life.Now?Life was the nightmare, so why not drink it away?
