Page 11 of Long Lost Winter


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“I know what it’s like, remember?”she said softly.“I was doing this fifteen years ago.Hoping for different results, yeah, but thewaitingis the worst part.The day in and day out with no concrete answers until there is one.And we’re only getting started.Nothing wrong with trying to take your mind off the wait.”

He looked at her, just outside of Honor’s Edge, the lights inside illuminating them there on the street.He didn’t say anything.He studied her in that way he had.The way that she thought was thinking about whatever his problem was but inevitably turned into something… charged.

It was the only word for it.Something about that eye contact would make her lungs feel… tighter, like she didn’t quite have room for a full breath because something else existed in her chest.A fluttering, naggingfeeling.

Yeah, these moments cropped up at odd times, but they ignored them.She didn’t think she wasalonein the occasional stray thought.Not anymore.

But something sat between them—a line neither knew how to cross.Maybe that was just friendship.Respect.Maybe she should appreciate it.Protect it.

But she thought… that might change when he angled a little closer instead of his usual away.Oh, it wouldn’t be good.It would be to distract or born of some screwed-up thing inside of him—or the both of them.

But reason didn’t always park itself in the driver’s seat.So she didn’t move or change the subject.She didn’t step into the shoes of being the mature person.

She stayed where she was, held his gaze, and held her breath wondering which one of them wouldfinallyhave the guts to cross that line.

The phone in his pocket trilled and they both jumped.

Sam couldn’t feel embarrassed if Mister Former Army Ranger jumped too.Andcleared his throat.He pulled his phone out of his pocket and frowned at the screen.

“It’s Cal.”

“You should take it.”

Because neither one of them needed to cross any lines tonight.Not with all that weighed heavy on the both of them.

He gave a curt nod, lifted the phone to his ear.“Hey.”His gaze moved from her to the night around them.“I’m not sure the Wolf’s Den is such a good idea.”

Sam couldn’t hear Cal’s side of the conversation, but Nate’s gaze came back to hers.

“I’m… with Sam,” he said.

And they just looked at each other.None of all thisfeelingdissipating.

“Yeah, okay,” he said.Then he hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket.“Cal wants us to meet him at the Wolf Den.”

“Us?”

“He’s looking for company.”Nate shrugged.“You don’t have to come, but…”

“But you two need a babysitter.”

His mouth curved very wryly.“Maybe.That’s what friends are for, right?”

Friends.A good line to have.She smiled.It was all better than being alone anyway.“Yeah, it is.”

Chapter Four

The Wolf’s Den

Cal could havehad a few drinks up at the ranch.In fact, he’d started to pour himself one in his little apartment area off the main house.

Then he’d felt a little too much like Dad.Alone and drinking felt like a slow slide into a place he didn’t want to be.Into apersonhe didn’t want to be—even if he didn’t know the person he wanted to be anymore.Ruling things out seemed like a good step in that direction anyway.

But he’d still needed a damn drink, a damn distraction.

So, he’d rounded up some company.Company that wouldn’t give him thatitchthat Landon and Aly did.Not a bad itch.Not adissociative traumaitch.Just a…don’t you two know that good things never work outkind of itch.

He wanted things to work out for them.God knew those two deserved it.But what did deserve matter in this life?