She sipped the bubbly champagne, and the lightness settled in her belly.
She sat back and watched while the friends prepared the bride, far more relaxed than she’d been at her own sister’s wedding.
***
Ed didn’t really fit anywhere. He shouldn’t have thought today of all days would be any different than normal. After he’d showered and dressed in his best suit, he stopped at the gallery of family photos, which covered the hallway wall. Every child as a newborn with their parents and siblings, and then on the first day of school, and graduation. His parents looked so young in the photo of a newborn Brandon, but they were probably about his age. He closed his eyes at the ache in his chest. God, it hurt so much to look at them, to know his mother wouldn’t be fussing around the kitchen making sure everyone had something to eat, or his father wasn’t hurrying back from seeing to something on the station before getting ready for the wedding. They should be here to see Brandon return home, find love and now marry.
He swallowed hard and examined the photo of the other missing person. Charlie.
How he’d worshipped, envied, and at times actively disliked his older brother. Charlie had been full of confidence and bravery and spoke of travelling the world when he was old enough. He’d always tried to drag Ed into one of his capers, but getting into trouble had never interested Ed. Sure, he liked to ride, but he preferred horses to motorbikes, and at a far slower pace than Charlie’s open throttle. Particularly after one accident. He closed his eyes as he remembered the wind whisking away his shouts to slow down, his fingers aching from where they gripped underneath the seat and Charlie’s laugh, Don’t be a wimp. They’d hit something—a rock, a hollow, a rare wet patch—and Charlie had lost control. Ed vividly remembered the terror as he flew through the air and then landed with a crack on the hard ground. He’d broken an arm and had hated motorbikes ever since.
Charlie had stood over him while Ed had held his arm. It’s your fault. You should have held on tighter. Ed had believed him, had thought he wasn’t tough enough, though now he realised it was just Charlie’s way of assuaging his guilt. Charlie had never stopped for long enough to consider how his words or actions might hurt.
Ed exhaled, rubbing his tired eyes.
That last day they’d had such a fight. Charlie had stuck chewing gum under Ed’s favourite book, and the cover ripped as Ed picked it up. The words were imprinted on his memory like they’d happened yesterday. I hate you. You’re such a stupid head.
Charlie was never one to offer an immediate apology. Well, you shouldn’t read so much. You’re boring.
Brothers always knew which buttons to push. Ed always felt he was different with his love of reading and cooking, and Charlie had been touchy about his poor grades at school. Better to be boring than stupid.
Charlie had shoved Ed onto the bed, and stormed out of their bedroom with a Loser thrown back at him.
Ed’s stomach clenched at his parting words. I wish you’d go away.
And Charlie had. Somewhere no one could follow. Ed had spent years wishing he could take back those words, and feeling as if he was responsible for Charlie’s death. It wasn’t until he was at university that he’d realised how foolish that was. As if his one wish had the power to change the world.
He sighed. If Charlie had been alive, would he have flown back from wherever in the world he was for the wedding? Probably. He might have even hung around after his parents’ funeral to catch up with his family, because Ed had no doubt that if Charlie had lived, he would be living whatever dream life he wanted. Charlie hadn’t taken no for an answer.
“Hey, why are you lurking in the corridor?” Georgie asked, walking towards him, a brush in her hand, already wearing her pale blue bridesmaid dress.
Ed shrugged. “Just looking at the photos.”
She slipped a hand around his waist and looked with him. “It doesn’t seem real they’re not here. I keep pretending they’ve retired and are on an extended vacation somewhere, and any day they’ll drive in and tell us stories of their adventures.”
“I like that thought.” He squeezed his sister. “How’ve you been coping, really?” They spoke regularly on the phone, but Georgie liked to pretend she was fine.
She pressed her lips together, eyes shining. “Not today. We can talk later, OK?”
“OK.” He kissed her forehead and let her go.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
“Yeah, was just going to see if Amy needs anything.”
“Thanks. The guests should arrive in about half an hour, so direct them to the garden and stop any of them from coming into the house.”
Ed smiled. “You think I’ll be able to stop Jenifer?”
Georgie laughed at the mention of their mother’s best friend. “Maybe don’t get in her way.” She kissed his cheek. “Love you, Astro Boy.”
“Love you, Mermaid.” The two of them had banded together to face the world back when Charlie had died. He’d taken on the role of looking after his younger sister.
Georgie headed further into the house to get whatever it was she needed, and Ed continued into the kitchen. Faith was pinning the final flower into Amy’s hair. She’d done something to tame the normal frizz so that Amy’s curls were tight ringlets which fell in layers past her shoulders. Amy grinned at him with no signs of fatigue, her makeup a light dusting and she positively glowed. Ed grinned back at her. “Looking gorgeous, Ames.”
“Thanks, Ed.” Amy touched her hair and Faith brushed her hands away.
“None of that, you’ll mess it up.” She clasped a silver necklace around her neck and then fiddled with the cowl neckline of her bridesmaid dress to make sure it sat right.
