***
Amy dried the dinner dishes, her movements slow with fatigue weighing her down. Just a few more and then she could go back to her room and rest. She didn’t begrudge how busy she’d been today, but she needed a few minutes alone. When she hadn’t been comforting Beth and Bill’s friends who visited, she’d cleaned the bathrooms and put on laundry. She’d also taken lunch to Darcy and Brandon who were up to their wrists in paperwork. Their grim expressions told her things weren’t going well.
She had no idea what it would mean for her job, but the idea of having to leave added extra stress to her day.
When Ed and Georgie returned from taking Lara to the beach, Amy had sat down with Ed to finalise the food for the funeral and made a list of what they needed. She’d drive into town tomorrow to purchase everything.
She was just so tired. The walls seemed to crowd her and the chatter at the table behind her hurt her ears. She needed air and solace.
“Amy, are you going to play cards?” Georgie asked.
She forced a friendly smile as she turned. “Not tonight.” She’d been on the go, surrounded by people non-stop since the accident. She hadn’t had time to process everything. “I’m going to have an early one. I’ll see you in the morning.” She hung up the tea towel and hurried out of the kitchen, stepping over Bennet who lay by the door.
The full moon rose high in the sky and the evening had a hint of chill in the air. She moved towards her room, but before she reached it, she changed direction, moving away from the farmhouse, the sheds and her quarters. The four walls would cage her like she’d been caging all of her emotions. Without conscious thought, she travelled along the well-worn path towards the sand dunes, the moon shining enough to light her way, though the shadows were long.
A few creatures rustled through the undergrowth, but they would avoid her. The dingoes and wild dogs rarely came close to the yard, so she wasn’t worried about them. She inhaled and tilted her head to the stars above. The Milky Way hung in the sky and the stars looked so close, so bright, like glitter scattered across the night sky. She hadn’t realised how much the light pollution in the city caused the stars to fade until she’d come here. The universe was endless.
Bill had insisted she go with him and Ed to the dunes during her first week here. He’d carried a hefty telescope with him and set it up before he invited her to look. And the sight of the stars and planets took her breath away. Tears pricked her eyes. Bill had told her how Ed had got him into astronomy. He’d been so welcoming even though he wasn’t enthused about the camp grounds idea. He’d showed her Jupiter, explained how to use the Southern Cross to navigate and pointed out several other constellations she’d heard of but never known where they were. Ed had told her about volunteering at the observatory in the city. The sky was his passion, not the land, but Bill accepted that, just as he accepted Georgie’s call of the ocean. He’d never mentioned Brandon though.
She trudged up the small slope of the red sand dune.
They’d all welcomed her more warmly than any other place she’d been to in the past ten years. She hadn’t felt like an outsider or a stranger, there’d been an instant comfort as if she’d known the Stokes her entire life. After only a few days of kindness from Beth, Amy had confessed her past, about her family life and running away—something she’d told no one else. And in turn Beth had told her about losing Charlie and her strained relationship with Brandon.
Tears flowed down Amy’s cheeks as she sat on the soft, fine sand. Perhaps Beth and Bill were reunited with Charlie now. She wasn’t sure if she believed such things, but it gave her comfort nonetheless. The idea of a twelve-year-old boy showing his parents around heaven made her cry harder for all that was lost.
Her shoulders shook as she cried for Beth and Bill, for her mother, for the family she wished she had and the abandonment of her own. Brandon’s investigation into her past brought it back to the surface, as raw as it had been ten years ago. She’d thought she’d come to terms with it by now, but the idea that Arthur had mentioned her to Brandon upset her. He hadn’t cared enough to contact her. She buried her head in her knees. At Retribution Ridge she’d found love and acceptance which she hadn’t felt since before her mother’s accident.
Her lungs burned and her throat was raw as the pain she’d kept inside stampeded out of her. She lifted her head to gasp in more air and the breath caught in her throat at the shadowy figure standing right in front of her. She scrambled back as the person said, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Brandon.
She placed a hand over her pounding heart and continued to gasp for air. She didn’t want him to see her like this. It was one of the reasons she’d not gone into her quarters. He squatted next to her and rubbed her back. “I’m sorry.”
Amy couldn’t speak. The warmth of his hand making circles on her back helped to calm her heart and she sucked in air until she controlled her breathing. Then embarrassment flooded her. What was she supposed to say to him? She’d come here to get away from everyone, to grieve on her own. “What are you doing here?”
He lowered himself to the sand. “I saw you come this way. I was worried you might get lost in the dark.”
She snorted. “More like you were worried I was some kind of spy.” So much for coming to an understanding after the horse ride today.
The noise he made was no kind of confession. “My siblings trust you.” He was quiet as he continued to rub her back. Then he sighed. “I trust you. You’ve done a lot for my family and you cared for my parents. I don’t want you to feel as if you’re alone.”
She studied him. Had he really changed his opinion?
“Arthur would want me to look after you.”
Disappointment and disbelief filled her. He was here for his teammate. Well, he was wasting his time. There was fat chance her brother cared. “I’m surprised Arthur mentioned me.”
“Not often,” Brandon admitted. “But we had a… situation once and he told me about you.”
She could read between the lines. A situation in military terms meant things had gone bad. “Did he think he would die?”
“It was touch and go for a while.”
It never really occurred to her that her brother could die and she wouldn’t know. How was she meant to feel about that? They’d never been close and Arthur had tried to be the man of the house when their father was away, but the longer their father was gone, the nicer Arthur had been, as if he’d forget how strict the major was. Curious now she asked, “What did he say?”
“Asked me to find you if he died, tell you.”
“But he survived.”
