“I might. It was a lot of fun. Thanks for suggesting it.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“It was a blast.” He chuckled. “I always thought I’d be too uncoordinated.”
She tilted her head to the side. “You never struck me as the uncoordinated type.”
“That’s because I’ve done nothing athletic in front of you.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” She winked at him and he grinned.
“I might have coordination in some areas.”
“I’ll say.” She sipped her cocktail.
He blushed a little.
Zita adored him. He was such a gorgeous mix of confidence and humility. She took hold of his hand. “Thank you for bringing me to Vegas.”
“Thank you for coming.”
Their meals arrived and they chatted. She wanted to tell David how she felt about him, but she didn’t want to ruin the weekend if he freaked out. Normally, she didn’t hesitate to tell people she loved them, but this was too precious, too scary, too real.
But she wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret for much longer.
***
It took Zita a couple of days to get back into the rhythm of Casa Flanagan when they returned from Las Vegas. Elena was getting more emotional each day as her hearing drew closer. She oscillated between clinging to Xaviera and not letting anyone near her, to not wanting anything to do with the baby.
On Wednesday, both Carmen and Zita sat down with Elena while Xaviera was sleeping.
“Niñita, we know you are anxious about your application,” Carmen began. “But you need to decide what you want to do about Xaviera.”
“She’s my baby. I will keep her.”
“You will keep her even if you get deported?” Carmen asked.
Elena hesitated. “My parents wouldn’t be happy.” She bit her lip.
“Elena, there are many cases where a parent is deported, even though their child is an American citizen. The child cannot apply on behalf of their parent until they are adults,” Zita told her.
Elena’s eyes widened. “They would separate a family?”
Zita nodded. “Make your decision about what you want to do with Xaviera, not based on your application to stay, but on whether you want to raise her.” She touched Elena’s arm. “It’s a very big commitment and you’re still young.”
“If you want to keep her, we will support you like we are supporting Alejandra,” Carmen said. “But if you want to give her up for adoption, we will make sure she goes to a good home.”
Elena’s eyes filled and she burst out crying. “You think I am a bad person,” she sobbed. “But I never wanted her. I was raped so many times, I don’t even know who her father is.”
Zita pulled Elena close. “You’re not bad. You were assaulted and Xaviera was a result. That doesn’t mean you have to love her.”
“I do love her,” Elena sobbed. “I just don’t want to take care of her. I see Alejandra with Julio and she loves spending every minute with him. I want to be free.”
Carmen squeezed Elena’s hand. “You can choose,niñita.If you give Xaviera up, you need to understand you may never see her again. But if you keep her, you have to be consistent in her care and she must come first. Being a parent means making compromises and not always being able to do what you want to do.”
Elena hiccupped as her tears slowed.
“You don’t need to decide now,” Zita said. “Take your time and think about what you want, and tell us when you’re ready.”
