Simple nonsense. Small talk to fill the air.
When I ask him what he does, he simply says computers. I can sense there’s more to it, but it’s none of my business.
He walks me to my apartment. When I’m about to close the door after I say thank you, he holds it open. “He didn’t kill you.”
I nod. “Then why does it still feel like I died?”
15
PAIN & MORE PAIN
LUCIAN
Idon’t remember much after she left.
Just the look on her face.
Not fear. Not anger.
Disgust.
She didn’t scream. She didn’t cry. She just looked at me like I was exactly the kind of man she left Italy to escape.
I am.
The front door opens, and I stand as I have been since she went away, watching the city wake up in front of me.
“I dropped her off.”
I don’t turn around to look at Logan. I don’t want to. I don’t know what I want…except her. I know I want her.
“I think she’s in love with you.”
He’s trying to get a reaction out of me. I don’t give him anything. But the thought that she may love me is like a hit of cocaine. It immediately suffuses me with warmth.
I imagine what it would feel like to be loved by Calista.
Heaven.
Monsters don’t go to Heaven, Lucian.
“I think you’re in love with her.”
I hear the coffee machine start. A few moments later, he hands me a cup, and drinks from his own. He stands next to me—all my brothers do.
I drink coffee. It does nothing to calm the acid in my stomach. Nothing can.
“I lost her,” I say bleakly.
“What the hell did you expect to happen?”
“I didn’t think that far ahead.”
“No shit.”
“I caught feelings.”
Logan nods, takes a long draw of coffee.
