‘It is. Although this rickety old thing has seen better days.’
Emma looked round her. ‘I don’t know. I think it looks pretty good.’
‘I’m particularly fond of the graffiti down there that says, “If you can read this, fuck off.” Very eloquent I feel.’
‘Almost Shakespearean.’ She grinned and picked up the Haribos. ‘More sugar?’
‘Love some, thanks.’
We sat silently chewing for a while longer. The rain had stopped now but the low cloud made it feel chilly and I shivered.
‘Would you prefer to go somewhere warmer?’ I said.
‘Are you cold?’
‘A bit.’
‘Oh, that reminds me,’ she said. She leaned down and pulled something out of her bag and presented it to me. ‘Your jumper. Thank you for lending it to me.’
‘Oh thanks.’ I’d forgotten I’d lent it to her, and it smelt of the outdoors, a flowery, heady scent. I pulled it over my head and felt instantly better.
‘You said you’re lonely?’ I said.
‘Sometimes.’ She didn’t look me in the eye. ‘I see my friends, but it’s little things. You know, when you’re watching something together and laugh at the same things, or want to ask the other person a question and you forget they’re no longer there until the question has almost formed on your lips.’ She traced her finger over the worn grain of the wood. ‘Sometimes I wake up in the morning and for a few minutes I forget that Greg is no longerthere and I roll over and see the empty side of the bed and it makes my stomach lurch.’ She looked up at me. ‘Do you know what I mean?’
I nodded, a lump in my throat. ‘I do.’ I swallowed. ‘Perhaps you’ve got the right idea, moving to a new home. Because sometimes being in the same room as we were together makes it even harder when a memory comes crashing in.’
A bolt of something jolted through me then, my entire body fizzing. When I looked down at the space between us, her hand was resting on top of mine.
It was only there for a few seconds, but when she pulled her hand away, I felt odd. Almost empty, as though she’d taken a part of my soul with her.
What the hell was that?
‘So have you seen anyone else, since Dawn died?’
I shook my head. ‘No. Andy – my brother – thinks I should. And a couple of mates have tried to set me up with friends, but I just haven’t been ready. I was starting to think I never would be.’
She smiled sadly. ‘Same here. Rachel even set me up a profile on Tinder but I haven’t looked at it since.’
‘What’s that?’
‘What’s what?’
‘Tindle, or whatever you said.’
She gave me a strange look, small creases lining her forehead. ‘Are you teasing me?’
I shook my head.
‘You really don’t know what Tinder is?’
‘I really have no idea.’
It was her turn to shake her head now. ‘Wow, I didn’t think there was anyone left in the world who hadn’t heard of Tinder. It’s a dating app. You know, where you put your details in, say what sort of person you’re looking for, what you’re like, and hopefully someone you like the look of likes the look of youtoo.’ She pulled back a bit and squinted at me. ‘Is this really not ringing any bells?’
I held my hands out and shrugged. ‘What can I say? I’m an old-fashioned kind of guy.’
‘You really are. A relic almost.’ She smiled. ‘It’s nice. So what else do you like doing, apart from eating sweets and moping around this place?’ she said.
