He shook his head. ‘I didn’t think about it when we arranged to meet. But today… it would have been Dawn’s birthday.’
‘Oh.’ I stood up, my bag snagging against my thigh. ‘I should leave you to be here alone. We can do this another day.’
‘No, please stay,’ he said.
I looked down at him. ‘I don’t want to intrude. I know how much this place means to you.’
‘Honestly it’s fine. I’d like you stay – if you want to?’
‘Sure,’ I said, lowering myself back down uncertainly.
He looked down at his feet, his trainers clean and unmarked. ‘I forgot.’
‘Sorry?’
He took a deep, shaky breath, his shoulders rising up and down slowly, and turned his head to look at me. ‘It’s her birthday today and I only remembered after we arranged to meet.’
I got it. The guilt you felt the first time you forgot an important date, or didn’t realise it straight away. ‘It doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten her, you know,’ I said, gently.
He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry. You don’t need this… this—’ He swept his hand in an arc as if indicating everything around him, then drew himself up so he was sitting straight. ‘We don’t need to do anything. I just wanted to take a minute.’
‘Hang on,’ I said. I’d had an idea. I rummaged in my bag and pulled out a little plastic bag and held it in the air. He looked at it and frowned. ‘I know this sounds weird, and I promise I don’t usually carry candles around. But it was someone’s birthday at work this week and these are some of the candles we didn’t put on his cake, and because I never clear my bag out they’re still here and…’ Stop waffling, Emma. ‘Anyway, why don’t we light a candle for Dawn? For her birthday?’
He stared at me without saying anything and I worried I’d got it wrong. Was it completely inappropriate?
Finally he held out his hand and I gave him the bag. He studied it, then looked back at me.
‘Thank you,’ he said.
He took the box of matches out of the bag as well as two candles, and handed one to me. I held it as he lit it, then lit his own. They both burned quickly, and I kept hold of mine until it was about to scorch my fingers, then threw it into the floor where it sizzled out. Seconds later, Nick did the same.
A woman walking past gave me a strange look and I smiled at her.
‘They burned quicker than I expected,’ I said.
‘It was a lovely thought. Thank you.’
‘We can do another one if you like?’
He shook his head.
‘Do you want to tell me about her?’
He shook his head again.
‘I think it’s time I started talking about something else,’ he said.
‘Do youwantto talk about something else?’
He closed his eyes briefly, then fixed me with a look. ‘Yes. I actually think I do.’
‘Well then. What do you want to talk about, Nick Flynn?’
He tucked his hands under his thighs and leaned forward. ‘I don’t know. Tell me something about yourself.’
‘What, like my job, my date of birth? My star sign? My inside leg measurement?’ A smile flitted across his lips and I found myself smiling back.
‘If you like.’
