Erin hugged her, grateful that she was well enough to be here. Although Penny was still fine most days just five years after her diagnosis, in situations that made her feel uncomfortable, she could sometimes become scared and confused. Erin was so relived she was here to see her big day.
Michael laid his hand on his daughter’s arm. ‘You ready Reeny?’
‘I think so,’ Erin said, her voice a whisper.
They made their way into the room where all their friends and family were waiting.
As they walked towards the front, Erin studied the back of Greg’s head. She knew him so well it was almost impossible to know whether the feelings she had for him were love, or friendship and familiarity, but she could tell from his stance just how nervous he was. Did he think she might not turn up, that she might change her mind at the last minute? She hoped he didn’t know how close she had come.
As she made her way down the aisle towards him she felt as though her heart was going to hammer out of her chest. As she reached the front and Greg turned to face her, she almost gasped to see the look of pure adoration in his eyes. He loved her so much. She’d always known that. And she loved him.
They were doing this.
As they said their vows, and promised to love each for the rest of their lives, Erin smiled, all the while keeping one eye out for Adam, for someone, to interrupt.
But no-one came.
They were husband and wife.
Later, after the meal and after the speeches, and after all the photos and the glass chinking and the toasting, it was time for their first dance. Greg took Erin’s hand as ‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol began, and they swayed together gently on the dancefloor, Erin resting her head on her husband’s shoulder, her eyes closed, trying not to think about another time, another place, another man… dancing like this, so close, to another song. Instead she focused on the here and now: on this time, this place. This man.
Their song.
And the man she loved. This was all that mattered.
21
NOW
The Cure: ‘Friday I’m In Love’
I need to see you. E
I pressed send, then let out a long breath of pent-up tension. My phone beeped with an almost immediate response.
Can you come to the house? A x
I’ll be there at 2.
It was done. I was going to see Adam, to tell him, in person, that this had to end. I couldn’t see him any more.
I hadn’t dared ask Greg about the necklace, and instead had thrown the note away, hidden the necklace and pretended nothing had happened. He obviously hadn’t wanted to talk about it either because he hadn’t said a word. But I knew that, after the promise I’d made to him to think about our wedding vow renewal, I couldn’t betray him any more than I already had.
Which meant Adam had to go.
At 1.30 p.m. I popped my head round the living room door where Greg was watching trashy telly and finishing off the last of the Christmas cheese.
‘I’m popping out for some fresh air,’ I said.
‘Okay.’ He studied me for a moment, tilted his head, and I wondered what he was thinking. Did he believe me? ‘Want me to come with you?’
‘No, you stay. You look like you’re well settled for the day.’
He held my gaze a moment longer, then nodded. ‘Sure. Enjoy your walk.’
I pulled on my coat and boots and headed out into the icy air. The rain from the previous day had cleared and the sky was a translucent blue, shot with streaks of pale grey. A weak winter sun provided hardly any warmth, its heat dissipating before it reached ground level, and trees thrust their spindly arms into the sky. The pavement was slick, slippery in places, and as I tugged my hat over my ears and wound my scarf round my neck I tried to ignore the guilt that sat like a stone in my belly at the thought of how Greg would feel if he knew where I was going.
Fifteen minutes later I arrived at the gates of Adam’s house and rang the buzzer.
