In the harsh light of the toilet she studied herself in the speckled mirror. Her face looked pale and the eye liner she’d so carefully applied earlier that evening had smudged under her eyes. Her lipstick had faded and her lacy trim vest top and bootcut jeans looked immature and boring compared to the outfits her rivals – as she thought of them – were wearing. She dug in her bag and re-applied her lipstick, pinching her cheeks to give her some colour. She sighed. She’d have to do. She wished she wasn’t so anxious.
Everything would be fine.
She went back to the pub, the noise hitting her the moment she pushed the door open. And as she arrived back at the table, a hush fell over the pub and the lights dimmed.
‘Just in time,’ Rose whispered.
There was a beat of almost-silence – then Adam strode onto the stage, followed by the guitarist, the bassist and the drummer. The place erupted, the screams from the girls who had pushed themselves to the front right by the stage the loudest. Erin’s hand gripped her pint tightly.
She watched Adam as he began to sing. He had such undeniable presence and seemed to command the room. He took total control of the audience and she began to wonder whether he even knew she was there as he bent down to sing to the girls crowded round his feet.
‘I’m going forward,’ she yelled, but as she stepped away Sam pressed his hand against her arm and gave a little shake of his head. ‘Stay here E.’
She looked at the stage and back at Sam, and knew he was right. She’d only make a fool of herself.
It was about halfway through the set when the band launched into ‘Girl From Mars’ by Ash. As the opening guitar began, Adam looked out across the pub. Was he seeking her out? She stood a little taller, and willed him to see her. And then, as his eyes landed on her and he gave a little wink and started singing about loving his girl from Mars, she felt herself puff out, try to fill the space.
‘See?’ Rose shouted in her ear. ‘Nothing to worry about.’
Erin felt herself begin to relax, and by the time they had played their last song, she was glad she’d come. But as the band left the stage Erin found herself glancing round every couple of minutes, waiting for Adam to come over and find her.
‘Erin, are you even listening to me?’ Sam demanded, waving his hand in front of her face.
‘Sorry. Miles away.’ Her vision was a bit blurry, and she realised she was more than a little drunk.
‘Miles away in lover boy’s changing room you mean,’ Sam slurred and Rose giggled.
‘When is he going to introduce me to the sexy guitarist?’ Rose said, her speech just as slurred as Sam’s.
‘Dan?’ Erin said, incredulous. He was the quiet one, and usually the last one the girls fancied. Erin cast her gaze distractedly over to the side of the bar where she knew the band would emerge, and where there was an increasingly large group of girls hanging around.
‘Yes, Dan.’ Rose slapped her arm. ‘Come on Erin, you two have been seeing each other for three months now and I’mstillsingle.’
‘I’ll ask Adam,’ she promised half-heartedly, her voice trailing off, the conversation fading into the background as she stared fixedly at the gaggle of girls waiting to throw themselves at her boyfriend. Her teeth were clenched and her whole body thrummed with tension. Where was he?
Suddenly there was a stirring over by the bar and Erin held her breath, waiting for Adam to spot her. She could see the top of his head now, his dark curls slicked back with sweat, as he pushed his way through the crowd. Then he stopped and she watched as one of the cropped-top girls slid her arms round his neck like a snake. Erin waited for Adam to shake her off, to move away and put some distance between them, but as the seconds ticked by she realised he wasn’t going to do that. In fact, he didn’t seem to mind at all that this girl was draping herself all over him.
Her world seemed to still as she watched the scene unfold before her. A leg hitched round her boyfriend’s waist, his hand moving up it, along the smooth brown skin, under the skirt… lips nuzzling his neck, a look of pleasure on his face… and then the girl peeled off, and someone else grabbed his hand, pressing themselves against him.
Erin felt frozen to the spot, unable to tear her eyes away as her boyfriend enjoyed the advances of several girls, all desperate for his attention.
She jumped at a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Sam watching her with concern. ‘Do you want to go home E?’
She gave a tight nod and tried to ignore the rising wave of nausea in her throat.
Sam took hold of her elbow and steered her towards the door. They were almost there when Erin heard her name being called above the buzz of the pub and she turned to see Adam weaving his way towards her.
‘Are you leaving already?’
She nodded.
‘Can’t you stay? The guys are all hanging out for a bit.’ Anger coursed through her. How dare he pretend nothing had happened? Did he really think she hadn’t seen him lapping up the attention just now?
‘You’ve got your groupies here,’ I said, my voice in danger of breaking.
He glanced behind me and rolled his eyes. ‘Them? Don’t worry about them. You’re my girl.’ He held his arms out. She stood rooted to the spot. Every part of her body was screaming at her to believe him, to go to him. Yet it was battling with the rational part of her mind that told her she’d be a fool to trust him now.
‘I think Erin wants to go home,’ Sam said, no trace of drunkenness left in his voice. Adam looked at him with a frown, then back at Erin.
