‘And were his parents there?’
‘Yes, they were.’ I looked at them both defiantly. ‘There’s nothing more to this you know. You’re making a drama out of nothing.’
‘Oh come on Erin, we all know it’s not nothing. Sexy Adam comes back into town years after breaking your heart, and which, by the way, you never got over.’ I was about to object but he held his hand up to stop me. ‘And by some miracle he’s forgotten everything that happened between you, and you’re spending time with him and helping him… and you’re telling me you don’t feel anything for him at all, aside from a professional relationship?’
I let out a long breath and held my hands up. ‘Okay, busted. Of course I feel something for him. But there’s nothing going on, I swear. I wouldn’t do that to Greg.’
‘Not even for Adam?’
‘No!’
‘Okay, okay.’ He leaned further forward. ‘So, tell me more about this meeting. When was it?’
‘Christmas Eve.’
‘Interesting. Where?’
‘I already said, at his house.’
‘Which room?’
‘His bedroom…’
‘Ah ha!’
‘Sam, leave her alone,’ Rose interjected.
‘What? I’m only getting to the bottom of it because she’s so reluctant to tell us, her two very best friends in the whole wide world and the two people who know as much about her as she knows about herself, the truth.’ He turned back to me, his voice softer this time. ‘Seriously E, what’s going on? Are you considering cheating on Greg?’
I should have denied it. I should have said no, of course not, I loved Greg.
But I knew, and they both knew, how things had been between us for the last few months and we all also knew how I had always felt about Adam. My lack of reply spoke volumes.
‘Oh E, you need to be careful,’ Sam said.
‘I am being careful. I’m not doing anything wrong, I swear.’
His look stopped me in my tracks, and Rose reached for me, placing her hand on my forearm.
‘We remember,’ she said. I was about to object but the look in her eyes made me think twice. ‘Me and Sam were both there when you were with Adam, and afterwards, when you split up. He didn’t—’ She stopped and glanced at Sam as if looking for reassurance about what she was about to say next. ‘The thing is, E, we’re worried about you. We both think that you…’ She coughed. ‘We think you only remember the good times. That you look back at the time when you were with Adam as being the best months of your life, and as him being the best thing that ever happened to you. But we were there, remember? We saw how it really was.’
‘What do you mean, how it really was?’ I spat the last words, feeling my hackles rise.
‘What Rose means, E, is that Adam could be a shit sometimes, that he didn’t always treat you very well, and we worry that you’ve forgotten that,’ Sam interjected. ‘We love you and we would never tell you what to do, but you know that me and Rose were both relieved when you and Adam split up and you met Greg. He was – is – much more deserving of you.’
I stilled for a moment, trying to absorb Sam’s words. I wanted to feel angry, to shout at them both that they had it all wrong, that Adam had been the love of my life. I also wanted to tell them that of course I remembered Adam hadn’t been perfect. But the truth was that, since his return, Ihadmainly only remembered how passionate our relationship had been, how intensely I’d loved him. But Rose and Sam were right. When I took off the rose-tinted glasses I remembered that Adam hadn’t always treated me as well as he should have done. Sometimes he’d be distant, dismissing me when he was with the rest of his band, or when there were other girls around; other times he was downright rude to me in front of his friends, belittling me and making me feel like a silly little girl. How could I have forgotten those times so easily?
Shame flooded my body.
‘You’re right,’ I said weakly. ‘But he’s changed, I swear.’
‘Erin—’ Sam started, but I cut him off.
‘Really Sam. I promise. He’s softer than he used to be. He’s grown up I guess. And the accident, it‘s made him more – gentle. Kinder.’
‘Okay. But remember you haven’t seen him for eighteen years. You don’t have any idea what he’s really like these days. And you’d be a total fool to throw away your marriage for someone like Adam.' He swallowed and corrected himself. ‘I mean like the old Adam.’
‘I’m not planning to throw my marriage away. At least not for him,’ I said.
