I shook my head. ‘No, some days she’s lucid, and seems to remember a lot. Other days she doesn’t have a clue who I am or what I’m doing there. We used to be so close, she was my best friend, and now she often stares right through me, or is terrified of me when I come into the room, which is even worse.’
‘God. I’m sorry.’ He stopped, and looked round the room, assessing it. ‘Anyway, it’s your turn now.’
‘My turn?’
‘I told you why I don’t know who you are. Now you need to tell me how we know each other.’ He smiled, and my skin tingled.
‘Well. Wow. Okay. Where do I start?’
‘How about you tell me this. Did we sleep together?’
I felt my face redden and I suddenly felt hot, and Adam banged the table.
‘We did, didn’t we? Oh God, was I any good?’
‘Adam don’t. It wasn’t like that.’
‘Sorry. Totally inappropriate.’ He shook his head. ‘One thing I’ve learned is that I can be a dick sometimes. Please carry on.’
I swallowed, trying to decide where to start. A cheer went up in the corner followed by the clatter of coins into a metal tray. ‘Well, we haven’t seen each other for a long time.’
‘How long?’
‘Eighteen years.’
He gave a low whistle. ‘That is a long time. Was I hot then?’
I didn’t answer. Instead I simply said: ‘We were at school together. You’d joined our school for the last year because you’d been chucked out of your posh school.’
‘Oh yeah. Mum and Dad have been sure to fill me in on that little detail. I think they’re hoping they’ve got a brand new son this time round. A new and improved version.’ He rolled his eyes and I was reminded of the way his parents used to treat him. Well,nottreat him would be more accurate. Most of the time it was though he didn’t exist, and his dad threatened to disown him more than once just in the year we were together. It was no wonder he kicked out against them so much.
‘Anyway, you were different from the boys I knew from school. Exotic, really. We got talking at a party and – well, we kissed that night, and were together for more than a year.’ It all sounded so pedestrian, so ordinary when I explained it like that. But how could I possibly put into words the thrill, the intoxication of the two of us together? How he’d made me feel like the sexiest girl in the world when he wanted to, how he’d consumed me? ‘We were—’ I hesitated. ‘We were good together.’
‘Right.’ He rubbed his hand over his short hair several times and sighed. ‘I can’t believe I don’t remember any of that. I mean, it sounds like it was pretty special.’
I nodded. ‘It was. It was the most intense thing that’s ever happened to me.’ I paused, suddenly shy again. ‘You sung to me once, from stage.’
‘Did I?’
‘Yeah. Do you know the song “The Chemicals Between Us” by Bush?’
He nodded. ‘I think so.’
‘You sang it to me. You were up on the stage and you held my gaze throughout the whole song and I couldn’t take my eyes off you either. It was…’ What? Sexy? Profound? Exhilarating? All of those things, but more. ‘It was everything,’ I said.
Adam didn’t reply. Instead we sat for a beat, me remembering the way we had been when we were together, Adam no doubt trying to process this new knowledge, that there had been such fire between him and a woman he no longer recognised. It must have been a lot to take in. I couldn’t help wondering whether he still found me as attractive as he once had, whether he was drawn to me in the same way as he had been back then, and I felt suddenly self-conscious. I’d come looking for him today so I had applied a bit of make-up and made an effort with my outfit, but it occurred to me now, under the spotlight of his gaze, that I must look dowdy and ordinary. He was probably wondering what on earth he’d ever seen in me.
‘So, what about now?’ he said.
‘What about it?’
He shrugged. ‘Tell me about you. Are you married, single? Have you got kids, what job do you do?’
‘I don’t have children, no.’ I don’t tell him that I suspect Greg wants kids but that I’m trying to ignore it because I’m not actually sure that I do. ‘I am married, yes.’
‘That’s a shame.’
My face flamed. ‘Is it?’
