All he wanted was the pain to stop.
He knew drinking took him to this place, and his only hope was he’d get so shitfaced drunk that demon on his shoulder would finally win.
Then, he could have silence, for a change.
For four weeks, he’d fought valiantly, and now, he was done. This castle, his life, and everything he’d ever done was too much weight to bear.
So, he took the bottle for a little stroll. This was his last patrol around the grounds but this time, to see it all one last time.
He said goodbye to all of his animals, hugging Romeo and Juliet, as he prayed either Gabby or Finn would show up tomorrow and find them unfed.
Then, he continued on, taking the dark path deeper and deeper into the trees.
As he got to the clearing not far from where they’d found and uncovered Ceit’s body, he stood on the ledge overlooking the valley below.
At night, with the stars coming out, and the moon making its appearance, he took it all in.
This place had given him peace, until he’d gotten his wish of finding out if D’Artangnan was okay.
Now, the peace was gone.
Here, on the cliffs that overlooked the town, it was a good place to spend the last few minutes of his life. In those minutes, he thought about his choices, and how badly he had fucked up.
It started the minute he came out to his parents, and they told him to leave for being a disappointment.
It continued as he went into the military and tried to hide his shame with honor for the flag.
Now, it ended with him seeing the most handsome man walk back into his life, and stare him dead in the face only to leave again.
Like D’Artangnan had said...
He wasn’t staying there, and ironically, neither was Graham. He was checking out because he couldn’t bear to do another day on this planet.
His tour was over.
He’d fought valiantly.
And he lost the war.
Now, it was only about checking out, and the bottle of courage would hopefully help him.
There was a big rock there, and it would be the perfect place to leap to his death. The best part was the abyss was dark below him.
He’d never see the end coming.
Standing on it, he raised his hands up in the air, and screamed. It was so feral that it made the trees and forest around him go silent.
Not an animal stirred.
Not a single creature moved.
Instead, they listened to the feral wail of a monster made in pain, and dying in it.
This was the savage wail of something giving up, and there was no doubt to everyone else, it was undeniably terrifying.
To him, it was the release of courage.
Because he was done.
