Why?
He’d learned from his past that if he told D’Artangnan to go, he would. If he pushed him away, he’d move on and replace him.
Then again, he already had.
So, he’d take this pain as his penance and punishment. This was all his fault.
So, he suffered in silence as his belly burned from the sting of bile.
He flinched when he felt his hand on his back. Still, the man didn’t move it.
“Are you going to be okay?” Michael asked, knowing what he’d said and why he’d said it.
A part of him wanted to see if the notes were real, and if this man did feel anything for him. A part of him needed to see if he just shrugged it off, or if there was something still there between them.
Michael needed proof.
After being hurt by two men, back-to-back, he needed to see if he had a chance.
What he’d wanted was someone to protect him, and Graham had done that. In fact, he’d saved his life, diving into the water when he’d had no obligation to do that.
He knew what lurked in there, and he still did it.
If that wasn’t enough, clearly, he’d never stopped loving him. Now, he’d see if what they had could be brought back to life.
“No, I’m not okay,” he whispered, between retching out all of his stomach contents. “I haven’t been okay for seven and a half years. I’m dead inside.”
At that, Michael knelt beside him, and ran his hand up and down his spine, taking in the tattoos he remembered him getting.
He’d been there for all of them.
Oh, and as for being dead inside, he knew that feeling. He’d been the same.
Until about twenty minutes ago.
Graham had to know the truth.
“When is your wedding?” he asked, finally able to get the words out, even if he couldn’t look at the man. “When will you and your beau be married?” he asked.
Oh, and he prayed it wasn’t here. If he had to watch the man he still loved get married, he’d not survive. Already, he was barely holding on.
Michael was honest.
He saw the pain and loss as Graham was decimated by that one word. It was clear he wasn’t the only one still in love.
“It was supposed to be next year, but it’s been called off.”
Graham tensed.
“Why?” he asked, as Michael handed him a little disposable cup with water in it, and a handful of tissues.
They were both a mess, but he needed to be honest with the man so they could figure this out.
For some reason, Michael didn’t doubt that the reason he’d been brought back here by the universe was unfinished business.
THEM.
They either had to say their goodbyes forever, or fix what they’d both broken.
