“I should mean it.” He stands abruptly, running his hands through his hair. "Don't you understand? This marriage was a mistake. A desperate solution to an impossible problem. But it was never meant to be permanent. It was never meant to be real."
"It feels real to me," I whisper.
"It's not." He says it like he's trying to convince himself as much as me. "In a few days, maybe a week, this will all be over. We'll get a divorce, you'll go back to your life, and I'll go back to mine. That's how this has to end."
"So all this meant nothing to you?" The tears are coming now, hot and angry. "I love you, Elio. Are you going to tell me that you don’t love me back?”
“Annie—”
“Say it.” I grind the words through my teeth. “Say you don’t love me.”
He looks at me helplessly. “Love isn’t enough, Annie. That’s not the world we live in?—”
"It could be?—"
"It's not!" The shout echoes in the quiet apartment. He takes a breath, visibly trying to calm himself. "I'm sorry. But this is how it has to be. When I leave, what we had—it's over. No more pretending this is something it's not."
The words feel like a physical blow. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to hold the pieces together.
"I can't believe you're doing this," I say quietly. "I can't believe you're just walking away.Again."
"I'm doing thisforyou. To protect you. To protect Ronan, like you wanted."
"I don't want your protection. I want you." I can feel the tears starting to drip down my cheeks. “Elio?—”
"You can't have me. I can’t have you." His voice is hollow. "I'm sorry, Annie. But this is the way it has to be."
He turns and walks toward the door.
"So that's it?" I call after him, my voice breaking. "You're just going to leave?"
He pauses in the doorway, his back to me. "I'm sorry, Annie. I'll be gone before you wake up tomorrow. When I come back, Desmond will be dead. Stay here."
"Elio, please?—"
But he's already gone, the door closing softly behind him.
I stand there for a long moment, staring at the closed door, waiting for him to come back. Waiting for him to change his mind.
He doesn't.
The sob that tears out of me is ugly and raw. I sink onto the bed, burying my face in my hands, and I let myself cry. For everything we had, everything we could have been, everything I've lost. Everything we gave up and found again, only to lose it a second time.
I love him. I love him so much it's destroying me.
And he loves me too. I know he does, no matter what he says.
I cry until I have no tears left, until my eyes are swollen and my throat is raw. Then I lie down on the bed, still fully clothed, and stare at the ceiling. The apartment is silent except for the distant hum of the city outside.
I don't know when I finally fall asleep, but when I wake, the room is filled with grey morning light. I sit up slowly, my head pounding, my body heavy with exhaustion and grief.
Elio is gone. I know it without checking, but I walk through the apartment anyway. His bedroom door is open, the bed neatly made, like he was never there at all.
On the kitchen counter, there's a note in his sharp, angular handwriting:
Stay inside. Don't answer the door for anyone except Diego. I'll be back when this is over. -E
That's it. No "I'm sorry." No "I love you." Just instructions and a single initial.
