“You feel so fucking good,” he moans. “You’re so perfect. God,fuck, Annie?—”
The combination of his words and his touch and the relentless rhythm of him inside me is too much. I come apart for the third time, clenching around him. I feel him shudder, feel him sink into me, and then I feel a hot throbbing sensation, and Elio curses.
“Fuck, I—Christ,I can’t?—”
His muscles bunch against me as he lets out a ragged groan, his hips moving in short, jerky motions as he buries himself inside of me. He moans something in Italian, his hand gripping my hip, and then he goes still, his forehead pressed against mine.
“Shit,” he breathes. “Shit, I didn’t mean to?—”
It dawns on me what just happened. That he didn’t manage to pull out in time. I should be freaking out, terrified, but all I can think is that I did that to him. It was so good that he couldn’t stop himself from coming.
The thought turns me on all over again.
Slowly, he eases out of me, and I wince at the sudden emptiness.
“It’s okay,” I tell him, looking over at him as he rolls onto his back, sweaty and trying to catch his breath. “It’ll be fine. I think it’s the wrong time of the month for anything to… happen, anyway. Once will be fine.”
Elio looks at me. “You sure?” he asks, and I nod, trying to look more confident than I feel.
“It’ll be fine,” I repeat. I move toward him, curling against his side, and he doesn’t push me away. Instead, he wraps his arm around me, his lips pressed to the top of my head.
I wait for him to saywe’re only going to do that once,oryou know that has to be the only time. But instead, we just lie there, in silence, the weight of what we finally did settling over us both.
And, after a long time, we fall asleep together.
22
ELIO
Ican't stop looking at her.
Annie is asleep in the bed, her copper hair spread across the pillow, her face peaceful in a way I haven't seen since this nightmare started. The sheet has slipped down to her waist, and she’s so fucking perfect.
She’s the love of my life—and now, for a little while, she’s mine.
In the dawn light, I almost think that what happened was a dream. A beautiful, perfect dream that couldn’t possibly have been real. But it was. I woke up naked next to Annie—next to mywife—something that I never thought would ever fucking happen.
And what I said to her last night is true. She’s ruined me. There’s no way any other woman could ever compare. No way I’ll ever be able to want someone else. She’s everything.
She’sit. I’ll spend the rest of my life wanting her. I’ve already spent all of it doing just that so far. And now that I know what it feels like to have her…
I’m completely, utterly done for.
I should feel relief. We accomplished what we set out to do. The marriage is consummated, which means Desmond can't annul it. Annie is protected, at least legally. Mission accomplished.
Instead, I feel like I'm dying.
Because last night was everything I've ever wanted, and I know it can't last. This was a practical solution to a dangerous problem. Once Desmond is dead, we'll divorce quietly and go back to our separate lives. I’ll have to try to forget what it felt like to be inside of her, to hear her moaning my name, to feel her coming on my cock.
The thought makes my chest ache.
I want her again. I want to stay all day in bed with her, take her over and over again until the feeling of my hands and lips and cock are imprinted on her skin and in her body. I want her to never, ever be able to forget what it felt like to be mine, just like I’ll never be able to forget what it was like to finally have her.
To give her everything of me, and take what I wanted so desperately in return.
I was her first. Her first everything. And the thought of any other man touching her makes my blood run cold, then hot. Makes me want to kill any man who might think about it ahead of time, just to keep them from ever having a chance at her.
I ease out of bed carefully, trying not to wake her. She needs sleep after everything she's been through. And after everything we did last night.
