"That's a really important job, I'm sure a Livestock Agent has saved a lot of people's ranches."
"I mean it's relative. Sometimes we aren't able to trace things back because correct records weren't kept in the first place. Other times, we've been able to stop things before they so bad that it killed off an entire herd. Really it's the luck of the draw and what information we have."
There's a comfortable silence that stretches between us, and I appreciate it. In my marriage, I felt like I constantly had to entertain Stanley, or he wouldn't be interested in me. I acted like I really wanted to know what his work was, but when I'd ask, he'd get irritated. "Stanley works on a ranch," I say softly, not sure if I want to talk about the man who ruined my life and broke my heart.
"Oh yeah." He raises an eyebrow and gives me his attention. "What does he do?"
I shrug helplessly. "I'm not exactly sure, he never wanted to talk about it."
Chase's eyebrows turn together. "Most of the people who don't want to talk about shit are the type of people who are doing illegal shit. Where does he work?"
"Are there really illegal things that people could be doing on a ranch? I mean you're working with animals. What is it you can do?" I'm trying to figure out what he may be talking about, and then I realize I didn't tell him where Stanley works. "The Stewart ranch."
He immediately sits forward, putting his feet on the floor. "The Stewart ranch?"
"Does that mean something?" I question, raising my eyebrow at him.
"They're not exactly on the up and up."
But I can tell he's trying to minimize it. Trying not tell me the full extent of what he knows, and what they're probably doing. "Is this something you can't share with me?"
He nods. "I can't share. Just know that they're under investigation for some shit they've been doing for a while. We don't have enough to charge them, but we're getting there. You may not have to worry about him for much longer."
The gravity of what he's said hits me in the chest like a shot. I was going to have a child with this man. Had lived with him, and didn't even realize that any of this was going on. What does that say about me? About my ability to see what's going on around my life? I don't like that, don't like that I've been the type of person who has let shit go, and not made people answer for the things they've done, or the situations they've put me in. "Then I guess its good that we didn't have a child together."
He gets up from the couch, walking over to wrap his arms around my waist. Dipping his face into my neck, he drops a soft kiss there. "I would never want you to hurt the way you did when you lost your child, but it might make your life easier. What's coming down for him isn't great, and he would one thousand percent take you with him. It's actually good for you that you're out here with me, and can prove it."
Although I'm warm since I'm in his arms, there's a chill that settles deep in my bones. What in the world is he involved in, and what is it he could've gotten me involved in, too? "Could I be in trouble?" I whisper, settling my back to his front.
"Only if you knew about the shit that he was doing, and since you told me that y'all haven't even been living together, you seem to be safe."
That's a relief. "I wondered a lot where he was going late at night when we lived together, but once I found out that he'd been seeing Briar..." I trail off. "I figured that's where he was. Is it bad?"
He makes a noise as he drops another kiss on my neck. "Yeah, it's not good. If we can prove everything we suspect, he's going to do hard time." I must be quiet for longer than he thinks is appropriate, because he asks softly. "Are you okay? It's never what anyone expects to find out about someone they care, or cared about."
How honest should I be with him? He's seen me at the worst moment in my life, and he's not judged me yet. If Chase and I are going to build anything, I feel it's best to be honest. "It's difficult to hear that. At one time I loved Stanley, had loved him enough to want to spend the rest of my life with me. I had dreamed of building a life, a fucking beautiful life." I stop for a second to collect my thoughts. "Just because our marriage had become dead didn't mean I didn't have dreams, ya know? In the perfect world for me, back then, against all odds, we would've made it. But now I think he always lied to me. From the moment he met me, he lied to me."
Chase turns me around, before removing his hands from my waist, and bringing them up to my face, cupping my cheeks. "Men like him? They lie a lot. They make you feel like you're the problem, ignore everything you ask them for, and then when things don't work out, it's your fault. You deserve better than that, Paisley."
If someone had told me I deserve better a few weeks ago, I would've argued that I didn't. I was so deep in my unhappiness, I couldn't see it. "Thank you, Chase. I'm starting to believe you might be right."
He leans in, stopping right before his lips brush mine. "I am, and I'm going to make you believe that you deserve a life as beautiful as you are."
Reaching up, I grab him around the back of the neck, and drag his lips to mine. Instead of waiting for him to initiate the kiss, I take it. Pressing our lips together, I carefully coax them open, and slip my tongue against his. His fingers tighten in my shirt as he holds me close to him. We moan as we tilt our heads, falling deeper into the kiss. One of his hands disentangles and slides down to my ass, pressing us closer. When I can't breathe I pull away, doing my best to get air into my lungs.
"You're gonna make it really fuckin' hard for me to go back to my damn files."
Leaning back against the table, I glance down between us. "I like making it hard for you."
He groans deeply. "Well, you accomplished your mission. Promise to take care of it later?"
"Promise."
And then we both go to our separate sides of the room, but I feel his eyes on me, and it's the sexiest I've ever felt.
Fourteen
Chase
