“Why don’t you show me?”
I’m trembling as I sit on the edge of the bed and stroke her hair away from her face. “Did you mean it earlier when you said that you trust me?”
“What do you think?”
“I think…” Deep breath. “That you’re a whole fucking lot more than I deserve.”
She has no idea who I am, what I do, the kind of legacy that I’ll eventually hand over to my sons one day. She’s so innocent. So sweet. So oblivious to the kind of world she’s dipping her toes into that I know I should do the right thing and send her home to her mom before she gets hurt.
But I’ve never been selfless. Sure, I’ve already made a silent promise to myself to do everything I can to prevent her from finding her father. But this… Spending the night with her, keeping her close, showing her the kind of life that she could have if I were anyone else, is purely and utterly selfish.
I never want to let her out of my sight. She’s mine, and I will kill anyone else who tries to touch her. But am I what she needs?
“Why, Declan?” she asks, genuinely curious.
“Amelia, I’m … not the person you think I am.”
She smiles and wriggles closer to me, reminding me that she’s the one who is naked and vulnerable, while I’m the one in control.
Although I feel anything but.
“Declan, I don’t care about anything you’ve done in the past. I care about the man you are now. Because… I like this Declan.”
Guilt is nudging at my rib cage. She deserves so much more than I can offer her. Her father is a fucking monster, and right now, I feel like I’m right behind him.
I can’t do this.
I stand and undress, climb into bed beside her, and hold her in my arms.
“I like you too, Amelia York. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Or next week. Or a couple of months from now. But…”
It’s the fucking understatement of the century. If this alliance with the Murrays goes to plan, our business will expand across the Atlantic. I promised the States side of the alliance to Ruairi, but I could theoretically be spending a lot more time in New York than I ever have before, leaving the Irish side of the business in Eoghan’s capable hands.
Meaning that when Amelia’s temporary contract here ends, and she goes back home, it doesn’t have to be the end of this.
Us.
Whatever is going on between us.
I mean, I’m not naïve enough to believe that it’s forever. But we could at least have a fighting chance.
“…I want you to know that I’m here for you, not just the sex. I meant it when I said that I want all of you.”
She rolls her head across my shoulder to look at me. “You mean that, don’t you?”
“I don’t make a habit of lying to women. Especially not when they’re as fucking beautiful and as special as you are.”
She cups my face with one hand, and drapes one leg over mine beneath the comforter. My erection bobs against my abdomen, reminding me that this conversation might be earning me some gold stars in the romantic stakes, but it hasn’t been satisfied yet.
“You have all of me, Declan. No one has ever made me feel the way that you do.”
I kiss her lips. I’ll take that, for now.
Amelia is asleep when I slide my legs over the side of bed, grab my clothes from the floor, and dress in silence. She is even more beautiful in slumber. The curve of her cheek, her perfect plump lips, her freckles, face framed by glossy brown curls.
I don’t like this furtiveness, sneaking around my own house at the crack of dawn, to get back to my room before Orla wakes up. Amelia deserves better. It’s disrespectful to her, and I was brought up to believe that respect is everything.
The knowledge that we can’t go on like this forever lodges inside my chest like a boulder. I won’t continue this until she accuses me of using her. Or until someone else finds out what’s going on. I won’t do that to her.
