“I am responsible for this baby, though. I refuse to shirk that.”
“That’s admirable, Joaquin, but a child needs to feel like more than an obligation.” Her chin stayed low with admonishment as she lifted her lashes. “You need towantto be a parent. With me.” Her voice wavered toward hysterical laughter. “For twenty years. This is a big decision for you, too.Youcan take more time to think on it.”
Her pregnancy wasn’t even visible. The idea they would be linked by this unformed person for the rest of their lives wassomething too big to grasp. The profound weakness a baby would create for him was terrifying to comprehend, but there was also a strange allure in this news.
A glimmer of something arrived in him. It was akin to what he’d seen in Fernando when his brother had introduced him to his firstborn, looping his arm around Zurina, who had been holding the baby. The pride in his brother’s expression had been so blatant, Joaquin had been embarrassed for him, but he could feel emotion dawning in his chest.
“The deed is done,” he said. “Iama father. If you’re asking how I intend to behave as one, the answer is,better than the example that was set for me.”
As he made that decision, and this new reality began to settle on him, his mind raced ahead to reconfigure his future around both of them.
“I appreciate you saying that.” Siobhan sank with profound relief onto the edge of the sofa cushion, elbows on her knees, fingers laced before her unsteady lips.
The truth was she was moved by how quickly and firmly he was committing to their baby. It meant a lot to her.
“I was raised by a single mom. I don’t have qualms about being one. I know the part that really matters is having someone who loves you.” Even if she had faced raising their baby alone, she would have had a ton of help from her mother and sisters. “All of my sisters remember our father except me. I was a toddler when he died. It left a blank space that Henri did his best to fill, but he didn’t come into my life until I was in my teens. Then I saw what a loving, involved father he is to their children and I’ve always known I wanted that for my own. So thank you.”
“For not leaving a blank space in our own baby’s life? You’re welcome, I guess?”
Our own baby.
Her shock was wearing off. Anticipation gathered in her chest and thickened in her throat. Joy expanded through her, creating room for the new love that was blooming inside her. What would their child be like? Moody and watchful like Joaquin? Aloof? Or affectionate and cheeky like her?
She let herself picture Joaquin with an infant against his heart and was nearly overwhelmed by longing. Would their baby bring out a warmth in him he didn’t otherwise reveal? Or was she conjuring a romantic illusion?
Henri hadn’t wanted children when he and Cinnia had started their affair. Cinnia had broken things off with him when she discovered her pregnancy, then hid it from him for months, even though they’d been in a relationship for two years. Even though they’d been in love, whether they had admitted it to themselves or not.
Her situation with Joaquin was very different, Siobhan acknowledged with a pang of chilling clarity. She and Joaquin were essentially strangers. They had slept together once. They had a few conversations between them that had been very personal on her side, but there was a lot she didn’t know about him. She didn’t have any of the confidence in his feelings that Cinnia had had about Henri’s. In fact, all he’d done was shut her down.
For all she knew, Joaquin was only stepping up because of her relationship to Henri and the rest of the Sauveterres. He was a practical, tactical man. He had to recognize that, on a social level, having a baby with her would tie him into their circles forever.
And she was liable to let him! From the moment she had seen him again, she had been fighting her desire to be physically intimate with him again. To feel once more his masterfulstroking of her body, the exquisite spikes of pleasure he brought forth, the culmination and blissful aftermath.
He didn’t truly care for her, though. He might be decent enough to catch her when she fainted and show concern over the baby he’d put in her, but he wasn’t as affected by her as she was by him. His ability to cool things off between them again and again proved it.
Which made her worry she would fall further under his spell if she didn’t keep a firm distance.
“Okay, so, um, that’s good to know that you’re, you know, committed. I’ll keep you posted as I make decisions.” She rose and found her handbag. “Is your driver still on the clock? Or should I order my own car?”
His dark brows quirked in astonished puzzlement. “To where?”
“Home. Wait. Is it still rush hour?” She glanced toward the windows where city lights were sprinkled against the dark night. “Maybe I’ll take the metro.”
“You fainted today.” His tone said,remember?
“Right. Car, then.” She brought her phone from her purse.
“Siobhan. You’re not going home. You’ll stay here where I can keep an eye on you.”
“I’m not going home to paint the ceiling. I’ll put my feet up, have an early night. But Ihaveto go home to take out these contacts. They feel like sandpaper.” She blinked as she tried to read her screen, growing desperate for time alone to regroup and come to terms with all of this.
“Don’t order a car,” he said with impatience. “I’ll take you home.” He came to hold her coat for her. “You can pack what you need to move in with me.”
Chapter Ten
“What? I can’tmove in with you!”
“Why not?” Joaquin asked the question, but then held up a finger as he brought his phone to his ear.
