“I know, but you are the one who said it. Therefore we must continue as you began, else Erik will be beside you within another instant. Well? What do you wish?”
She didn’t look at him, just said calmly, “Where is Cleve?”
Merrik smiled at her. “I will fetch him.”
10
ERIK STOOD OVERher, oblivious of his brother and their people who stood near. “Give the child over and come with me.”
“I fear she cannot, brother,” Merrik said. He turned to Cleve. “Take Taby for the night. I would keep his sister with me.”
Cleve said nothing as he gathered up the sleeping child, nor did Laren. She waited there on the floor, wrapped in her blanket, watching the two men.
“I want her,” Erik said, and she heard the petulance, the covetousness in his voice.
“She is my concubine and she is my slave as well, Erik. When I tire of her, I will consider selling her to you. Come along, Laren.”
“She said you didn’t want her because it was her monthly flow. She said you wouldn’t want her until she had finished it. And I’ve watched you, Merrik, you haven’t touched her, even scarce looked at her since you came home. All you care about is that damned boy.”
Merrik said slowly, consciously relaxing his hands from fists at his sides, “It is true that I like not taking her at those times, but I am in much need and thus will make do. I try not to look at her, because whenever I do it makes my lust rise. I do not like to torment myself. But tonight I will not wait longer. It is my will that prevails here, for she is my slave, not yours. I bid you good night, brother. I see Sarla awaiting you.”
“Damn you, Merrik, ’tis not just that I want to plow her belly, I would have her tell me what happened to Grunlige the Dane!”
If she hadn’t been so afraid, Laren would have laughed.
“She will tell you tomorrow night, Erik.” Merrik reached out his hand, and without hesitation, she placed her own in his. He pulled her upright. She fell forward, against his chest, and he laughed a little, stroking her hair with familiarity as he did so. He held her there as he said, “I told you she was thin. She is. So thin you would look at her only once and tell her to leave you. Also, her hair is short and ragged, as you see, not as full and thick like your wife’s or your mistresses’.”
Laren heard a laugh and knew it was from the woman Caylis.
She saw Sarla from the corner of her eye. How could Erik shame his wife like this? It enraged her. Before she could say anything, Merrik leaned down and kissed her hard.
The shock of it rendered her immediately silent. He laughed again, gave his brother a small salute, and picked her up in his arms. She didn’t move, barely breathed in fact until he laid her upon the box bed that had belonged to his brother before their parents had died.
The chamber was small and dark. Merrik cursed under his breath, left the chamber, and soon returned with a lit oil lamp. There were wool blankets on the bed and atop those were otter and reindeer skins traded from the Lapps in the North. There was a beautiful large chest at the foot of the bed, nothing else.
Merrik walked to the entrance of the chamber, pulled the skin aside and looked out. Erik was nowhere to be seen. Hopefully he was with Sarla. All was quiet, save for the snores from some of the men and the few moans and giggles from the men and women enjoying themselves before sleep came.
He cursed again, and once more left the chamber. Laren didn’t move, just stared at the bearskin that covered the entrance. When he came back there was a soapstone jar in his hand.
He said briefly, “The cream for your back and leg. Take off your clothes.”
She didn’t move. “Why did you kiss me?”
“For my brother’s benefit. To show him my possession of you.”
“But everyone was watching.”
He shrugged, and said matter-of-factly, “I know. It will keep Erik’s men away from you as well. Obey me now. I am tired and wish to sleep.”
She didn’t want to take off her clothes in front of him, didn’t want to repel him with her thinness. It hadn’t mattered to her before but it did now for the simple reason that now she cared what he thought. No, she didn’t want to have to obey that command. It was as if she didn’t matter, who she was and what she was—it was entirely unimportant to him. It was Taby he wanted, not her, Taby he cared about, not her. Erik was right about that. She said nothing to him, nothing at all. She tried to remember that if he hadn’t saved her from Thrasco, she would surely be dead now. But that wasn’t true. She had escaped from Thrasco on her own. She would have managed. She owed him only for saving Taby.
She didn’t know what to do.
She wanted very much for him to kiss her again, but of course he would never kiss her freely, never because he wanted to, never because of desire for her. Quite simply, there was no one for her, no one save a five-year-old child.
Suddenly the terror of the last two years, of the endless weeks that had flowed into months and beyond, that endless time of hopelessness, of rage and fury that had eaten at her deeply and more deeply still as time passed, it all welled up in her then and she felt herself crushed under the weight of it. It erupted and she couldn’t prevent it. She began to sob, deep ugly sobs that shook her whole body. She buried her face in her hands, hating the ugly sounds that showed him her weakness, but the wave upon wave of grinding pain wouldn’t cease. The helplessness, the fear, the bitterness, all were there, pulling at her, defeating her. She tried desperately to gain control, for she didn’t want him to see how pathetic she was, she didn’t want anyone to see it, but the sobs were deeper now, a part of her, and they wouldn’t stop.
Merrik stood by the bed simply staring down at her. His first thought was that Erik had terrified her. Then he knew that wasn’t the case. She wasn’t some gutless female. No, she was a survivor. Surely Erik’s lust would have no effect on her, at least not this effect. But she sounded as if her very world had ended.
