Fighting him now would gain her nothing. It was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but she forced herself to go limp. To her unspeakable relief, the man’s hands eased and he grunted, “I think the little girl fainted from fright.”
Another man said, “She saw your ugly face. It’s good she fainted. I was told she’s wild as a wolf. I have the child. He’s no larger than a loaf of flatbread. Tie her arms and legs, then bring her. There are too many guards about for my liking, more than promised. Not close, but still, I want to finish this quickly.”
She waited another moment, forcing herself to be utterly slack, just for a brief instant. She counted slowly, each second, feeling the terror cramp her muscles, feeling her throat close, wanting to suck in air, but she didn’t dare, not yet. Finally the other man had moved off with Taby. She grabbed the bronze candle holder beside her bed, lifted it, and smashed it against the man’s head. He yowled, hurtling away from her. She was on her feet then, and she was kicking him in his belly and his legs, striking him again and again, sending him to his knees. She saw blood gush from a blow against the side of his head. Then the other man whirled about, stared in astonishment at the scene, and came running back and she knew she had no chance against the two of them. He dropped Taby on the bed, then turned to her, his hands out toward her. She leapt back away from both of them, hurled back her head and screamed as loud as she could, screamed and screamed...
But they were both on her now, their hands digging into her flesh, making her screams real cries of pain, and it wouldn’t stop for they were violent with anger and still she screamed and screamed. The man struck her hard in the jaw, but still she cried out until the blackness covered her mind, and she wondered even as all thought slipped away from her:Why hasn’t anyone come to help us?
“Damnation, wake up!”
The scream broke off, dissolving into a deep moan. Merrik dropped his sword and knife and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her. “Wake up!” he shouted in her face.
“Don’t you hurt my sister!”
Taby was suddenly on Merrik’s back, beating his fists against his shoulders, jerking at his hair. Laren awoke fully, saw the man over her and screamed again. She raised her fists to strike at him. No, no, wait, wait... It was Merrik and Taby was on his back, yelling at him, hitting him, all the while sobbing, tears streaming down his thin cheeks, sounds so ragged she wanted to howl with the pain it brought her.
Now she’d terrified him with her stupid screams, illusion screams that had no meaning, that had naught to do with anything save her fear from that long-ago night. She felt the humiliation of it go deep inside her, that and her anger at herself for succumbing and crying out like a fool. It had been months since she’d dreamed of that night, but it had come again, more intense this time, but still she was used to it, should be used to it enough that she wouldn’t squeal like a stoat. Aye, she should be used to the terror it brought her, terror still as fresh in her mind as the night it had been real. Only this time she’d awakened Merrik and frightened her little brother. She drew a deep breath, tried to make her voice calm, and said, “Taby, it’s all right, sweeting. No, don’t hit Merrik. He was trying to wake me up. I had a nightmare and it was so very real, but it’s over now. Come on, Taby, it’s all right. Come to me.”
Merrik hadn’t moved. He simply waited until she had the child in her arms, unaware until that moment that he had been straddling her, his bare thighs locked against her sides. No wonder Taby thought he was attacking his sister.
Slowly he eased off her and came down on his side to look at her in the dim light of dawn. She was facing him, holding Taby against her, rocking him, and singing to him, her face buried in the child’s neck. She sensed him looking at her, and gazed over at him.
“Tell me,” he said.
She ducked her head down and continued to rock Taby. The child pulled away from her, and came up on his knees beside her. He leaned down and touched his fingers to her face. “Was it the bad men again?”
“Aye, but still just a dream, Taby, just a dream.”
“What bad men?” Merrik said.
“It was only a dream, a dream that comes to me when I’m very tired. I’m sorry I woke you. I’m a fool. But it was just a silly dream, nothing more, Merrik.”
“I see,” he said, and stood. He looked down at her in the pale light, saw that chin of hers go up so high that by all rights she should be forced to stare at the top of the tent, then left her.
She heard the men grumble when Merrik shouted at them to wake up. She hugged Taby tightly against her, then said, “You mustn’t say anything to Merrik about that other time. Besides, you don’t remember it very well. He wouldn’t understand. It was a long time ago, Taby, a very long time ago.”
“Why do you still have bad dreams about it?”
A child, she thought as she kissed his cheek, always went directly to the hidden core. “It was a bad time,” she said honestly. “A very bad time, but we are safe now.”
“Merrik will take care of us.”
She hated the confidence in his voice, his child’s utter certainty. She also hated having to rely on a man, particularly this man who was a Viking, surely one of the most ruthless and vicious of men on this benighted earth. Aye, she didn’t want to rely on him, not for her safety, not for all her needs and Taby’s needs. During the past two years, she’d learned men were vicious and brutal, not to be trusted, taking what they wanted, feeling no remorse, having no conscience. Also she’d learned that to trust in anything or in anyone could leave one dead or worse, though at the moment she couldn’t think of anything worse than death. She remembered Thrasco’s beating. That had been close. She unconsciously flexed her shoulders as she stood, and leaned first to the right and then to the left. There was only a little pulling, nothing to draw her down into that choking pain.
She said to Taby, “I don’t want him to take care of us.” Her voice was too sharp and Taby flinched back from her. “Nay, sweeting, it isn’t Merrik’s responsibility to care for us. He is a man and men don’t feel comfortable about caring for those who aren’t part of their blood family. He’s caring for us just for now, that’s all. Then I will take care of both of us. We are still a long way from home, but soon, perhaps very soon, we will return.”
She wondered if she believed it herself. How could she return when she didn’t know the face of her enemy? She wondered, as she had countless times during the past two years, what home was like now.
***
With loud cheers and equally loud prayers of thanksgiving to Thor, the men finally shoved the longboat into the Gulf of Riga six days later. They’d been slowed by a violent storm that had shredded the men’s tempers and tested their strength, but it had only lasted a day and a half, nothing all that dreadful, but dreadful enough. When the longboat slid smoothly into the clear blue water of the gulf, she and all of the men breathed a deep sigh of relief.
No one had attacked them.
Thor had given them a safe portage, they’d earned a lot of silver from their trading, and all were thankful. When they camped that evening, she decided she would make them a delicious dinner.
Her back was healed now, but still, she tired too quickly, and it angered her, this weakness, this continued betrayal by her body. Merrik had merely laughed at her that morning when she’d cursed her weariness in language as colorful as the brightly plumed birds they saw in the forest. As for Taby, she could now look at him without pain. His cheeks were no longer sunken, but were rounding out again. He walked upright, no longer bowed down with hunger. There was light in his eyes, not the dull blank acceptance, or silent questions to her that she couldn’t answer. And his laughter, that was the best of it all. Just a few moments ago when the men were cheering their safe portage, Merrik had suddenly lifted Taby high in the air, swinging him over his head. Taby had shrieked with laughter. Laren had simply stood there, watching them and listening to her little brother’s joy.
They brought her venison for supper. She cut the meat into thick steaks and seasoned them with snow berries and juniper roots, then wrapped them in wide maple leaves rubbed with venison fat.
