I laugh. But at me. Not her. All that time I agonised over when and how to tell her I owned a business, to confess a lie, and it’s this that trips us up. A piece of information I had no idea had any relevance to us whatsoever.
It takes me a moment to collect enough calm to say, “And he told you I was using you to get to him.” It’s not a question.What’s gone on here is clear enough. Even for a dickhead like Warren, this is a low blow.
Lil doesn’t answer, but the way she drops her eyes from mine to the hands she’s twisting in her lap says it all. Big tears drop onto the backs of her fingers, splashing on knuckles white with tension. If I were kicked in the chest by a horse, it couldn’t hurt much more.
“And you believed him?”
She still doesn’t answer, so I continue. “I had … fuck … I had absolutely no idea what Warren did for a living. And if you recall, it was you who proposed this fake dating thing, not me.”
“Yes, a proposition you declined. Then you conveniently changed your mind and agreed to it. The dayafterWarren had been all over the news for a big deal he was doing. So, are you or are you not looking for an investor?”
Her voice is cold. Colder than the day we met in the car park and she accused me of being in the wrong in our fender bender. This time she’s accusing me of much worse. Of being the kind of man who would use a woman to get ahead in business.
I feel like I’ve been slapped.
“Wow. That’s what you think of me? Of us? That I’ve been faking it with you to get to Warren?”
The past week flashes before my eyes. Nothing I have said or done has been enough to convince her I’m genuinely interested in her.Ihaven’t been enough.
I don’t know what guts me more. The idea that she’d think so little of me that I’d do something like that, or that she thinks so little of herself that I couldn’t be interested in her for herself.
“What else am I supposed to think?” Her chin goes up in defiance.
“Lilavati. You know me. I’ve never told you a single lie.” Her eyebrow arches a lot like her grandmother’s. “Okay, well, yes, Ilied by omission. But never an outright lie. And it honestly never occurred to me that it was something we needed to discuss.”
“A lie of omission is still a lie! You slept with me under false pretences. How am I supposed to believe anything you say?” Her breaths come fast and uneven.
“You’re supposed to believe me because you know me. Yes, I wasn’t honest about the business thing at the beginning. But I told you about that days ago. And now you’re accusing me of setting up some elaborate Machiavellian plan to extort money from Warren? What did he say? That I was only pretending to be interested in you until I got some money out of him? Or maybe he expected me to ask for money in exchange for disappearing?”
The look on her face tells me that’s exactly what he said to her. I didn’t expect anything more from him. This whole conversation fits with what I heard in the hallway the night we had dinner at their house. What I did expect was better from Lilavati. I thought she knew who I was, and her lack of belief slices at my throat until I can’t breathe.
“I’ll ask you one last time. Have you been looking for an investor for your business?”
“Lil, it’s not that—” I start, but she doesn’t let me finish.
“It’s a yes or no answer, Ant.”
If Lilavati felt for me a fraction of what I feel for her, she wouldn’t even need to ask that question. I give her the only answer I can.
“Yes.”
All emotion drops from her face. Like an echidna, she’s rolled herself up to protect her soft underbelly, and all that’s left showing to the outside world—to me—is her spikes.
“I see. Well, at least you’re finally being honest.” Cold, hard words without a hint of a tremor. The tears have stopped.
Stung pride and heartbreak are the only excuses I have for the words that fly out of me next.
“You wouldn’t know honest if it bit you on the arse. Maybe you need to take a look at your own part in this little melodrama. If you hadn’t been in such a hurry to deceive your parents, maybe you would’ve asked a few questions. Done your own due diligence like Warren seems to have done. So you can step down off that pedestal you’ve put yourself on, Lilavati, because none of us are perfect. Not even you.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lilavati
“Are you suggesting this is my fault?” I squeak in a voice almost too high for human hearing.
My heart is breaking. I needed him to sayNo, Lilavati. None of that is true.Not admit that he lied to me. And that Warren is right, and he’s looking for an investor. Because if Warren is right about that, doesn’t it follow that he’s right about the rest of it?
“It’s not a matter of fault. But you started this charade. I don’t see how you can possibly believe it was a con from the beginning. And I can’t believe you think so little of me as to believe it.” There’s a world of hurt in his voice, but I can’t let myself be fooled again.
