“Works every time. But you have to keep moving till he’s really out,” Ben says, turning down the path into the park.
“I’ve never heard a noise like it. Does he do this every night?” My experience with babies is almost non-existent, but Andrea has always seemed a contented little thing.
“Yep. Same time every night. Don’t change the subject.” Ben tucks the rug tighter around the baby without missing a step in our walk.
“What subject? We weren’t talking about anything.”
“You know what subject. Is there a particular reason you don’t want to be home for Christmas?”
I stuff my hands in the pockets of my jacket and shrug.
“Nah. It’s just a lot, you know?”
Ben hasn’t always had the easiest relationship with our father, and there were many years he came and went from the fold, so he gets it in a way Will and Greer don’t.
“Oh, I know. How are things with Sadie?” Ben’s aware of my rejected apology.
“Still not speaking to me.” I sit on one of the swings and kick off gently while Ben walks back and forth. “The woman can really hold a grudge.”
“You know that’s not it. From what you’ve said, Sadie had an awful childhood. Her default setting is to protect herself. You can’t blame her for that.” Ben slows and tips his head, listening for any signs of dissent from the pram. When it’s silent, he flicks on the brakes and sits on the other swing.
“You’re right. I get it. Doesn’t make it any easier, though.”
We’re silent for a while, the old chains on the swings creaking softly as we swing. Andrea sleeping quietly in his pram.
“I know it’s too late to change the dig for this year, but would you at least think about sticking around for Christmas next year? Greer’s baby will be here. Andy and the twins will be old enough to have an idea what’s going on. It’ll be chaos.” And he loves the thought.
“Ha. When is it not chaos?” I ask. “Get more than two Carters in a room at any time and shit happens.”
“It would mean a lot to Mum.” He pulls out the big guns.
“Piss off.” I try and sound annoyed. Instead, I sound guilty. “I’ll think about it.”
And I will. I came home to reconnect with my family, but right now I can’t wait to get to Egypt. Not so much to get away from them, but to get away from Sadie, and from their unspoken questions about her and my feelings.
I’m starting to wonder if maybe I shouldn’t have moved home permanently. Maybe it was too much all at once. Perhaps a holiday or two might have been easier. Dipping my toe in thewater of my meddling, managing family might have been a better way to handle it. Too late now.
But if nothing else, not seeing Sadie daily will undoubtedly be a good thing. I’m hoping it will give me time to overcome my growing attachment.
Until Jennifer sticks her oar in. Again.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sadie
Pianos fall on you from a great height when you least expect them.
Ethan and I have been managing to avoid each other pretty well for the most part. Until Jennifer has a brilliant idea.
“Sadie.” Jen waves me down from her perch on the arm of the sofa in Ethan’s office as I’m on my way to do some database updates. “Ethan tells me you haven’t filled out your Expression of Interest for the Amarna dig yet. I hope that’s an oversight.” I can hear the rope suspending the piano above my head, creaking and groaning. Any minute now.
“Ah, no. I don’t think I can go.” Because even the idea of spending six weeks in close quarters with Ethan is agonising, never mind actually doing it.
“I’m sorry, that’s insane. It would be perfect for you.”
I hover in the doorway, reluctant to get too close to Ethan, who’s wearing his usual poker face. I really don’t need to smell his aftershave right now. Or ever.
On the one hand, I’d give my right arm to be able to go. On the other, it’s a potential disaster waiting to happen. Okay. There’s nothing potential about it. An unmitigated disaster is what it would be. Because try as I might—and boy have I tried—my feelings for Ethan have proved stubborn to kill.
