Sigh.
Anthony Chalmers is the vice-chancellor. He went to the same school as Martin, or some such bullshit. He’s the only reason Martin still has a job.
However, he’s not wrong about Jennifer’s plans. She was very clear about how she saw things playing out over the next five years. Lucky for me, growing up with a father and an older brother as lawyers, I can do inscrutable like a professional.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m here to strengthen the New Kingdom curriculum we offer and to include the university in my Cambridge concession at Amarna, thereby saving the university a large amount of money while still publishing new work. If you have a problem with any of that, though, please feel free to take it up with Anthony. Because going over everyone’s heads worked so well for you last time.”
And he’s left spluttering in my dust like the ignoramus he is, still clutching the chronology I gave him, as I stride back to my office and close the door.
“No, seriously, have another. You’ve only had, what is it? Three? Four? Make it an even five.” I don’t point out that five is an odd number as Ben slides the plate of sfogliatelle towards me. His mother-in-law is the best cook. Which is just as well because neither Ben nor his wife Rosanna can cook for shit. Lucky for them, she lives to bring them their favourite Italian treats. And they can afford to hire a housekeeper, who comes in three times a week to fill in the gaps.
Despite his sarcastic offering, I help myself to another pastry. My sweet tooth is the stuff of legend. I’ve never met a sweet I didn’t love. And there’s always room for one more. Right now, these pastries are vying for first place with my perennialfavourite, baklava. Or maybe it’s knafeh. Okay, they all have a place in the top three.
“Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind, or do I have to hold you upside down and shake it out of you?” Ben’s emotional intelligence is off the charts. Which is why I invited myself to dinner. I need a clear-eyed perspective on the Sadie situation.
“Yeah, I, umm … I did a thing.” I can’t bring myself to call it a mistake. It wasn’t. Even if the subsequent fallout has complicated my life—and Sadie’s—more than I would like.
Ben waits patiently. I start again.
“I met this woman.”
“What?” Ben and Rosanna squawk in unison, causing the baby sleeping in Ben’s arms to jump and open sleepy brown eyes. Without a word, Rosanna gets up and takes Andrea from his father.
“That’s wonderful, Ethan.” She pats me on the shoulder as she passes, whispering to Ben, “I’ll go and put Andy to bed. Leave you two to talk.”
Ben kisses them both before turning back to me. I hope the light is low enough he can’t see the tears in my eyes. I couldn’t be happier for my brother. Both my brothers. But seeing him so happy with his wife and baby creates a cocktail of conflicting emotions I find difficult to deal with. It’s something I need to get a handle on. Because I don’t ever want them to feel they can’t express their happiness for fear of upsetting me, and I’m not sure I could adequately explain the complexity of my guilt and regret.
“Where were we? You met a woman. I’m guessing there’s more to the story; otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”
“What? I can’t have dinner with my brother without an ulterior motive?” Is a sixth pastry too many? No. It definitely isn’t. It’s the last one, after all. No point leaving it behind.
“Of course you can. Any time. You know that. But I can spot an emotional conundrum a mile away. Given what you’ve been through, it’s totally understandable if you’re feeling some kind of way about meeting someone new.” Ben puts on his earnest face. Which makes me wish we were still ten and twelve and I could give him a noogie.
“It’s complicated.”
“Ha. You wouldn’t be a Carter if it was simple. Go on.” He leans back in his chair and crosses an ankle over his knee, ready for a story.
“We met a couple of weeks ago and had a one-night stand.”
“So far, so good.” By now my other brother Will would probably be jumping to all kinds of conclusions like accidental pregnancy or, God forbid, disease, but Ben waits patiently.
“We went our separate ways. Then, on my first day at work, who should be there but Sadie. She’s a PhD student.” I take a mouthful of wine to buy myself some time. And wash down that last pastry. Six might’ve been too much. Even for me. Or maybe it’s this conversation that’s making me queasy. “And the department head, Jennifer Stone”—Ben nods as though he remembers the name—“has appointed me her supervisor.”
“Huh. What are the odds?” Ben shakes his head. “Have you told Jennifer about the previous, ahh, connection?”
I fill him in on my conversation with Sadie and why I reluctantly agreed to keep quiet. And about the situation with Martin, who he remembers hearing about when we tangled over marks.
“Fuck. That is complicated. For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for not letting that Collins guy get his hooks into her. However, it seems like you’ve been snookered, as Dad would say. I get why you agreed to keep quiet. But it’s a risk. Unless there’s no residual … tension?”
For the first time in my adult life, my cheeks heat. I’m a grown-arse man and I’m blushing. Which Ben, of course, clocks immediately, despite the low lighting.
“I see. How deep in the weeds do you want me to go here, bro?”
I didn’t come here to fuck spiders, as they say. Even though I know this is going to be painful, I spread my hands, giving Ben permission to dig as much as he wants.
“As I see it, there are two issues. The first is how to handle things at the uni. The second, and more important to me, because you’re my brother, and I love you, and want you to be happy, is how you feel about this woman.”
“Did you not hear the part about her being a student? And not wanting to get involved with a professor because of her parents?”
