“Well, it’s not that simple for me. Will is like a brother. And Harry and Stella are the closest things I’ve ever had to real parents. I can’t do this to them.”
“I understand you’re worried about what they’ll say, but I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions.”
“It’s not just about that. You’re incredible. Amazing. You deserve the best. Of everything. And I can’t give it to you. I’ll never be the type to settle down with two-point-five kids and a white picket fence. Surely you know that.”
“Who said anything about settling down? I’m twenty-four years old. It’s way too early to be thinking about that.” Which is a bit of a lie. I’ve been thinking about that with Josh for what feels like my whole life. Although, the two point five and fence are negotiable. What is also a lie is what he’s telling himself about his value as a partner and a man. The weekend with Ty, and the way he’s supported him since, is proof of that.
“Oh, come on. You deserve better than me and you know it.”
My heart cracks a little at hearing him talk about himself like that. I push off the wall, straighten my dress and, taking his hand, lead Josh into my bedroom.
“Can we at least talk about this?” I sit down and pat the bed beside me. Talking isn’t entirely what I have in mind, but baby steps.
“I don’t know what else there is to say, Greer. I don’t want to hurt you. Or your family. I’m trying to do the right thing here. You may not think this now, but it’s for the best if we nip this in the bud.”
“And we forget this ever happened. Is that the plan?” Which is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard.
Josh lets out a deep, pain-filled sigh and wraps a comforting arm around my back as I rest my head on his shoulder. “Well, yes. I guess so. I wish it could be different. I really do.”
Minutes go by in silence, Josh’s palm rubbing circles on my back, my hand sliding up and down his thigh. It doesn’t take long for the atmosphere of comfort to begin changing to something a little more electric.
Before Josh pulls away, I lift my head, cup his cheek and meet his sad gaze.
“Well, if this is all we ever get, how about we at least make the most of it? Maybe work it out of our systems. Get closure. Then we’ll both be able to move on. No regrets.”
I can see by his expression he’s not buying the logic I’m pedalling. I can also see the overwhelming temptation, the wheels of justification turning, the moment he makes his decision. All the roadblocks in his particoloured eyes drop and what’s left is a potent mix of vulnerability and desire.
“No regrets. Just tonight.” The yearning in his voice is clear.
“Just tonight,” I reply, my fingers sliding into the wild mass of his hair.
The skin of his shoulders and back is smooth and firm with muscle as I run my hands across them before sliding up his arms and into the light sprinkling of hair on his chest that disappears to a thin trail down his flat belly.
We’re not in a hurry. The sharp desperation of our need has been smoothed by our assault on each other in the hall. Now I want to explore every inch of him. If this really is the last time for us … No. I won’t think about it. I push those thoughts from my mind. Time enough for consequences tomorrow. For now, I concentrate on savouring every moment, every touch, every movement. I revel in the dips and curves of muscle and bone, soaking in the arousal offered by his quivering golden skin.
“Beautiful,” Josh murmurs as he slides the fabric of my dress out from under my arse, up my body, and off my shoulders, dropping it on the floor by the bed. My bra quickly joins it before he eases me back on the mattress, hovering over me on his elbows. His eyes track from my head to my toes, followed by his fingers, trailing a delicate line across my collar-bone, onto my shoulder, down the side of my breast and waist to my hip, where his hand settles, warm and firm. I can’t suppress the shiver of need. I don’t even try.
I stretch to take my shoes off, but his hand stops me. “How about we leave those on for now?” he growls, sending a shiver down my spine.
Josh pulls away to stand as I reach for the button on his jeans and shucks them, along with his boxers, socks and shoes, in one impatient movement before lying down again, his gorgeous length stretched out beside me. We take our time, drinking each other in, until eventually, the need to touch, to feel, is too strong. His lips lower to mine for a mind-melting kiss before moving down my neck, across my chest, sucking an already tight nipple into his hot mouth. I want to imprint the feel of his lips and hands on my body like an invisible tattoo.
My body arches off the bed towards him, my hands reaching for his arse, pulling him closer, trapping his cock between our bellies.
“Not yet, gorgeous.” He slides further down my body, his mouth moving across my ribcage, down my stomach until his shoulders are nudging my thighs apart. “Let me taste you again.”
My mind slides back to the day Josh went down on me on my dining table, and I’m one hundred percent on board with experiencing it again. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before. He knows what he’s doing down there, and what’s more, he loves doing it.
I open my thighs, sliding my feet up the bed and dropping my knees to the side, giving him all the access he needs. His tongue slides through my folds as one hand holds me open, and the other slips a finger into my opening, working in and out as his mouth closes over my clit and he sucks. Lightning strikes, and Josh continues to lick and suck and rub as my orgasm fires through me, not stopping till I’m limp and boneless on the bed beneath him.
His lips work their way back up my body, and when we come face to face, I smile at the satisfaction in Josh’s eyes.
“Your turn.” I push him onto his back, straddle his thighs, and take his burning erection in my hands, smoothing the silky flesh with a rhythm that has his breath catching in his throat. Just as Josh did, I start at his flat brown nipples, working my way down his belly before moving across to his hip and down one thigh. I can feel the tension in his body and give him a dirty grin before swiping my tongue up the length of his cock. Opening my mouth, I fit my lips over the tip of the head, sucking in the bead of pre-cum swelling there before I slide my lips down his length, taking him deep into my mouth.
“Jesus. Oh. Jesus.” Josh’s hands fist the sheets, and his hips rise off the bed while I use my hands and mouth to drive him towards the cliff. I can feel the power I have over him, and I’m loving it. Loving the realisation I can take him to the same wild places he takes me.
“Stop. Please stop. Now.” Josh is close, I can feel it. He slides his hands into the hair at the side of my head and pulls me up for a brutal kiss before he flips me onto my back.
“Condom?” he gasps.
