I sit up straight and push my hair back behind my shoulders as our drinks arrive.
“Everything and nothing. It’s so frustrating. I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I started the blueprints for Josh and haven’t been able to focus on anything else. The good news, though, is I’ve finished the first draft. If he likes them, all I need to do is finalise them and submit them to council. And I’m really proud of them. If he goes ahead, it’ll be a beautiful house.”
“Of course it will. You know your stuff. So, if things are good with the plans, this must be about Josh himself.”
“We had another moment, Jess. A real one.”
“What? When?” she screeches, and people at the tables next to us look over. “Sorry. Sorry.” She waves at them in apology before turning back to me. “When?” she hisses.
“Right before the tree came down. He was about to kiss me. Then—bam. We were both on the floor.”
“Nooo. What shitty timing.” More eye rolls from Jess.
“I know, right? And afterwards, there was no time to talk about it because I had to get him to the medical centre, then there was the SES and blah, blah, blah.”
“And you haven’t spoken about it since?”
I fill her in on Josh’s stay, our conversation at his apartment, and me dropping his car off to him. “And that was the last time we spoke.”
“Wow. Mummy Dearest sounds like a real prize. No wonder Josh isn’t interested in relationships.”
“I know. I mean, I knew his family were messed up, but this is next level. So, what can I do?”
“That kind of stuff takes time—and therapy, probably—to get over. I think you just have to be …”
I know what’s coming. “Ugh. Here we go with the patience thing again.” I throw my hands up dramatically.
“Afraid so. Yep. The good news is, you’re doing everything right. You’re showing up for him, and even if he doesn’t always say so, that will mean a lot to him.”
“You’re supposed to say go over there in a trench coat and nothing else and jump him,” I grizzle. Which makes Jess laugh.
“Anyway, enough about men. Harry told Ethan there are a couple of jobs on the table?” Jessie changes the subject with no subtlety whatsoever. And I let her because right now, there’s no resolution to this conversation.
“Yeah. There’s one job in particular I’m quite interested in. Applications close at the end of the month. I should hear if I’ve got an interview within a couple of weeks.”
“Oooh, fingers crossed then.” Jessie crosses her fingers and eyes at me, which always creeps me out.
“Stop that.” She might not have been subtle about the subject change, but it worked.
After brunch, we head for the beach, roll up our jeans and walk headland to headland, ankle-deep in the icy water, deluding ourselves we’re walking off the calories we’ve hoovered up.
As we walk, I tell her all about my plans for the house. The second-storey master suite, the open-plan living, the use of recycled materials and traditional stained-glass windows in the extension at the back to link it to the front of the house. I’m so excited by the design I can hardly wait to show Josh. I hope he loves it as much as I do.
We sit on the sand and watch the surfers, which reminds me of Josh.
“Is it weird that I still have these feelings for him, even after he was away for so long?”
“Maybe you need to dial it back a bit.” Jess’ silvery blonde brows knit together over her nose, and she wraps an arm around my shoulders. “I know it felt big at the time, but you were a kid. He wasn’t much more than a kid himself. I get what you felt was intense, but it wasn’t love. It was a crush.”
“Maybe. But what about you and Ethan? You’ve been together since you were sixteen. Was that a crush? Or love?”
“Not the sort of love we have now. More like puppy love, I guess. And we’ve grown together. You haven’t spent time with Josh in ten years. Maybe you need to take some time to get to know the adult Josh. See if you still feel the same. You know, before you tear his clothes off.”
“Hey! You’ve seen him. Who wouldn’t want to tear his clothes off?”
“True. He’s pretty hot. But there’s more to a relationship than that.”
“Gah. Why do you have to be so sensible?” I dig my toes deeper into the damp sand, a physical reflection of my metaphorical heel-digging. I know she’s trying to help. And I will take on board what Jess said. I also know, in my heart, there’s something between Josh and me. I knew it the minute I looked into his eyes at the airport. And it’s not about his extreme hotness.
