She turns when she gets to the door and gives me a look of such compassion I nearly break. “We’ll find her, Nick. One way or another.”
I can only nod in response, the lump in my throat too big to swallow.
I can’t believe I have so little knowledge of Lulu’s life, yet I feel as though I know her right down to her soul. I know her dad lives in Scotland, but she never mentioned her mother. There was a picture of a beautiful woman with a toddler on her bedside table. Based on looks alone, I’m sure it’s her with her mother, but we silently agreed not to get deeper into each other’s lives. Damn ‘not-a-relationship’ conversation. How I regret it now.
We existed in a bubble, and nobody else was given entry. I don’t know what Lulu’s motivation was, but for my part, it quickly went from self-preservation to protecting a relationship that had become so important to me. As it played out, my instinct was spot on. If only I’d been able to protect us a little bit longer.
Calling Sebastian doesn’t work. I’ve spent two days calling the gallery and, like my messages to Lulu, my calls to Sebastian Black go unanswered. I’m beyond frustrated. It doesn’t help that I’m snowed under with work. But at least work helps to take my mind off Lulu. At the moment, work is the only thing keeping me from completely losing my mind.
On Wednesday afternoon, I finally carve out a free hour to call in at The Black Gallery. Sebastian recognises me straight away and is friendly to the point of obsequious.
“Oh, no. I have no idea where you could contact her. Other than her email, of course. Her exhibition wassucha success. She has several commissions. I expect she’s working on those. She’s the big thing right now. I wish I could clone her to keep up with the demand.”
“So, you’re telling me you have no idea of her whereabouts?”
“None whatsoever. I’m sorry.” He shrugs his shoulders, throwing his hands out palms up, looking not the least bit sorry. “But if I hear from her, I’ll be sure to let her know you called in and asked after her.”
I’ve been a lawyer for a long time. I know when I’m being lied to. There is no way a man with his reputation in the art world—yes, I Googled him and he’s well known as a sharp operator—doesn’t know where his latest sensation is. But short of stringing him up by his skinny ankles, there’s nothing more I can do. Other than hope he tells Lulu I’m looking for her.
Steve Piper is interstate on a job for another client, so it’s two weeks before he’s able to start searching for Lulu’s father. In the meantime, Mandy is narrowing down the search for Rosanna. Needles in haystacks. I have no idea what Rosanna’s surname is. Thank God her name isn’t Jenny or Kathy—how many Rosannas can there be? And I have no idea what Lulu’s father’s first name is. She always called him Dad. Or Da. I’m assuming his surname is MacLeod. I google it. There are hundreds of thousands of MacLeods in Scotland. All I know is he lives on a farm.
“Steve said it may take a while. There are lots of …” Mandy starts once she’s briefed him.
“I know how many MacLeods there are in Scotland.” My temper is fraying. It’s now been three weeks. Still no word from Lulu, and I’m no closer to finding her.
I do nothing but work, sleep and chase the ghost of Lulu.
Mum calls every few days, and I let it go to voicemail. I can’t even bring myself to listen to her messages. Her interfering might have cost me the best thing I have ever had in my life. I’ll be damned if I let her get away with it.
Will catches me at the lifts one evening as we leave work.
“Are you okay, Nick? You don’t look too good.”
I sigh. I seem to be doing a lot of that these days. “Yeah. All good. Crazy busy.”
“So I hear. That merger is huge. But it’s nearly finalised, I understand?”
“Yes, final documents will be signed by the end of next week, with any luck.”
And what will I do with myself then? It’s a matter of days until Christmas, then the entire country shuts down for a good month. Without the crippling workload to keep me sane, I don’t know what I’ll do.
“Are you going away for Christmas?” Will is cheerfully oblivious to my angst. It would seem Harry hasn’t filled him in on the situation with Lulu, although he was there to witness the debacle at the partners’ dinner.
“No.” And then it occurs to me. “Wait. No. Yes. Yes, I am going away.”
I’m going to Scotland. I don’t know how I didn’t realise it earlier. She’s in Scotland with her dad. I have no idea where exactly, but if I’m in the same hemisphere, the same time zone, on the same piece of land, when we do finally track her down, I’ll be able to get to her quickly. At last, I have a plan.
Chapter Thirty
Lulu
Dadcomeswithmeto my ultrasound appointment in Inverness. We head over early to do a bit of Christmas shopping before the appointment. Christmas is a little over a week away. Dad isn’t particularly subtle and takes off on his own for a couple of hours, leaving me to pick a present out for him. I wander past a baby shop and stop to look at the display in the window. A winter wonderland of baby equipment. There are a few couples inside choosing prams and cots, and it makes me sad—and guilty—I’m standing here on my own.
Dad and I meet up for lunch, then head to the clinic. I’m so grateful for his presence, but I’m also sad it isn’t Nick holding my hand and telling me not to worry. I’m fidgeting in my chair in the waiting room. Drinking a litre of water and holding it in while you have a baby starting to take up room in your belly is a challenge. My bladder is the size of a pea at the best of times. But Dad sits patiently, flicking through the ancient magazines.
At last, when I feel like I might burst, it’s my turn and Dad holds my hand as the technician squirts gel on my little bump. It’s only a second or two and we hear a whooshing thump, thump. A surprisingly fast thump, thump.
“Hear that? It’s the baby’s heartbeat. You can see it here.” The technician points to the screen where there’s a little blinking sepia dot.
