“Do you want a coffee?” Jack asks.
My eyes are closed. I don’t open them. I just shake my head.
The fading thud of his footsteps is the only sound, making the answering quiet even more ominous. The air feels heavy and foreboding.
“Mr. Murray?”
My eyes open, and I lift my head to find a doctor dressed in scrubs with a light blue surgical cap covering her hair. With my heartbeat racing all over again, my stomach churns with anxiety. This moment feels both surreal and the most significant one I’ll ever face for the rest of my life.
I start to stand, but she waves, indicating I can stay sitting. She walks over to me and sits in the chair next to me just as Jack steps into the room. He hovers by the door.
The doctor smiles at Jack and looks back at me. “I’m assuming he’s with you. Is it okay if I speak freely in front of him?”
“Yes. Please, I need to know.” My voice doesn’t even sound like my own. It sounds like it’s being ripped from the depths of hell, which is fitting since that’s where I think I might be.
The doctor sighs. “I don’t want to sugarcoat this, Mr. Murray. It isn’t looking good for your wife. We’re doing everything we can, and she’s stable. But the next few hours will be telling as to her prognosis.” Her expression growsmore solemn. “If the surgery is successful, her recovery will be long and painful.”
My eyes burn, my inhale uneven. “I don’t care. I just need her to live.”
She stands with a nod. “We’re doing our best to make that happen.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
Once she leaves, Jack walks over to me and squeezes my shoulder as he takes the seat the doctor just left vacant.
I need to do something.
Taking action will help restore the control I feel I’ve lost completely. I retrieve my phone from my pocket.
Me: We need to fucking talk.
Seconds later, my phone vibrates in my hand.
Franklin: I’m already booked on the first flight out of Chicago.
The grip on my phone tightens, fear and fury blurring my vision. Spiraling isn’t going to be what gets me through the next few hours, so I tap into the part of me that’s been long dormant, that allows me to shut off every emotion.
No matter what happens, Maggie needs me to stay strong, even if I feel anything but.
41
Ian
Pacing the waiting room, I take in the scene around me. Jack and Nate are talking quietly in the corner. Ella’s curled up in one of the chairs, eyes red and puffy, staring at the wall. Pamela’s sitting next to her, doing something on her phone and intermittently talking to Tyler, who’s sitting on the other side of her.
Pamela’s appearance was something I didn’t realize I needed until it happened. She walked me outside and tried to push me into talking about my terrifying and jumbled feelings. Even with me explaining that I can’t do that right now for fear of losing my tight grip on not losing it, she simply gave me a hug, told me she wasn’t leaving, and that she’d be there when I was ready. It’s comforting to have someone who knows all my baggage here to support me.
Nate took the fact that I’ve been seeing his sister professionally better than I thought. He said he was happy that I’dstarted seeing someone and that I’d picked the best with his sister. He, of course, took the opportunity to give his sister a hard time for kind of breaking the rules. She continued to stress it was just two friends talking. His teasing was a nice levity from the constant misery of this situation.
The clicking of the door has all of us springing to attention. My muscles tense as Franklin steps inside.
When we lock eyes, he inclines his chin in greeting. “Let’s go talk.” Without waiting for me to agree, he spins and walks back into the hall.
I peer at the rest of the people surrounding me. They’re eyeing me curiously. “I’ll be back. Call me if the doctor comes out with an update.”
As I step into the hall, I find Franklin talking to a nurse. He thanks her and turns toward me.
“There’s a room down here we can use.”
