“Time to go in, beautiful.”
I grab the doorknob and push the door open. Silence greets us as Maggie slowly turns to enter before she freezes. A soul-wrenching sob breaks free from her chest, and my arm instantly goes around her waist to catch her in case she collapses.
A woman who I assume is Maggie’s mom practically sprints across the room and gathers a crying Maggie into her arms.
“Mom?”
“Yes, baby. It’s me.”
The woman looks up at me over Maggie’s shoulder. The grateful yet broken smile she gives me rips my heart out.
Maggie’s dad joins the duo and gathers them in his arms. Her arm snakes around his side, holding them both tight. The younger woman and man stand to the side, watching. Maggie’s sister has her fingers steepled and pressed against her lips. Tears stream down her cheeks. Her brother stands stoic next to her, his arms crossed, trying to look as unaffected as possible, but it’s obvious he isn’t.
When her parents release her, Maggie launches herself at her siblings and wraps an arm around both of their necks. Her brother loses the facade as a few tears slip onto his cheeks.
I swallow down the emotion the scene is stirring within me, forcing myself to be strong for Maggie.
After a few more minutes, Maggie steps back to my side,wiping her nose with a tissue her mom handed her. Pure and unfiltered joy radiates from her as she looks up at me. She grabs my hand in both of hers, and when she looks back at her family, she says, “I want to introduce you to my boyfriend, Ian.”
Any fear I felt about my feelings for her vaporizes.
I love this woman.
38
Maggie
Ihug my mom once again. My long-ago broken heart mends a little as her familiar perfume surrounds me. The last two hours have been a dream come true. I don’t want it to end. But I know we can’t stay in this office building forever.
“Maggie, I love you so much. Please don’t ever forget that.”
Anguish at having to leave them again makes it difficult to breathe. My voice is a whisper as I say, “I don’t want to leave you. What if I never see you again?”
My mom grips my shoulders and moves me away from her so I can see her face. “Maggie, I can’t believe we went through all of this, and made it this far, never to see each other again. The universe wouldn’t do that to us. We’re always a family. It just might look a little different going forward.”
I sniff and nod. “I love you.”
She pulls me into what I know will be one last hug for who knows how long. I fight the urge to apologize again for making decisions that put us in this situation. I lost count of how many times I begged my family for forgiveness during the time we’ve been together. Each time, I was told to stop apologizing, and that they understood why I did what I did and didn’t blame me.
I don’t know how that’s possible. Out of everyone in this room, I’m the one who caused this pain for all of us. But I love them all for trying to ease my guilt.
After tearfully hugging the rest of my family, Ian leads me outside. I attempt to disguise my crying, but with every shaky breath, Ian squeezes my hand in silent support. He helps me into the passenger seat and buckles me in. Cupping my cheeks, his thumbs gently wipe tears off my cheeks, only to have them replaced with new ones. The expression on his face as he searches mine is an equal mix of concern and torment. I want to reassure him, but it’s hard for words to form. He kisses me on the lips, then closes the door. I take a few deep breaths as he rounds the front of the vehicle and climbs inside.
He doesn’t push me to talk. His hand goes to my thigh as he pulls out of the parking lot, and he lets me cry all the way to the hotel.
When he turns off the engine, he stares out the windshield but doesn’t remove his hand from me.
After a few moments of silence, he shifts in his seat and asks, “I didn’t fuck this up, did I? Is seeing them going to make being away from them even harder?”
My affection for him expands exponentially. Not only for making something I feared would never happen a reality,but for caring enough to recognize how hard it is to leave them, not knowing when I’ll see them again.
I grip his forearm tightly. “Ian, I’ll never be able to explain to you how much this meant to me. I think about my family every day. Wondered if they hated me. If my parents were disappointed in me. If they regretted having me. Today brought me so much more than my family. It brought me comfort and forgiveness. And reminded me that the people who love us the most will continue to love us even when we fuck up soincrediblybad.”
I end the sentence with a small smile, and he gives me a sad one in return.
“You’re so fucking amazing. You know that?” he comments thoughtfully.
My smile grows, and I lean across the middle console, planting a big kiss on his cheek.
