Ian
“So, we didn’t meet last week because of the Fourth. How have you been?” Pamela taps her pen on the notepad sitting on her lap.
I rub my palm over my short hair nervously. “So, you know how you said you might’ve been wrong about Maggie?”
She inclines her head slightly with a cautious smile on her face.
“Well, I asked her out and we had dinner a couple of nights ago.”
Surprise lines her face. I’m unsure if she thinks this is a good thing or not.
“Did you all address what she said to you?”
I clear my throat. “We did. She apologized.”
“Did she tell youwhyshe said it?”
I grimace slightly. “No, she just said she was sorry and that I didn’t deserve it.”
Pamela’s face clears of any emotion as she continues tapping her pen.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
“Weren’t you the one who said to give her another chance?” I snap.
Her eyes narrow. “Don’t be a dick, you dick.”
I bark out a laugh. “Sorry, you were stressing me the fuck out with the silence and the tapping.”
She sighs. “Fair enough. And you’re right. I did say to give her another chance.” Tilting her head to the side, she regards me. “You left it at just dinner, right?”
We had conversations in the past about how quickly Maggie and I had sex when we first met. She implored me to try not to get physical so soon and to give relationships time to grow. In my defense, I figured that didn’t apply to Maggie and me since we already had sex. A lot. And I have no plans to stop again.
“Not exactly, no.”
Pamela sighs again and looks up at the ceiling. “So, you’re already having sex again, and you have no idea why she said those hurtful things to you? Though I’m glad to hear her acknowledge that you didn’t deserve it.”
“Yep, that about sums it up.”
“Ian, I know you have very strong feelings for her. But I think it’s very important to understand what prompted that.”
Uneasiness has my gut churning. No matter what Maggie said, I’m still scared to hear why she did that. But I know Pamela is right. “I will. Maybe not today, but soon.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.” She leans forward. “You deserve more answers than just an apology.”
I nod because that’s all I can manage.
As I walk backinto the office, my mood is all over the place. It’s always like this after a session, but today feels different. With every issue we’ve dealt with in the past year, I always feel a mixture of anger, resentment, or even guilt. But today, I feel dread. And a slight tinge of fear. Because everything else was in the past, Maggie is very much in the present and what I hope is the future. The thing I fear the most right now is losing her again.
“Hey, Ian!” Ella calls out from the front desk.
“Ella, how are you?” I stop at the desk.
She glances around before looking back at me. In a loud whisper, she says, “Maggie told me about you two. I’m so excited!”
