She sobers. “What are you going to do? It doesn’t seem like you’re going to be able to avoid her unless you leave Nash and stop being friends with Jack and Nate. Neither of those will go over well with the guys.”
I swallow hard. “I don’t want to do either of those things. But I also don’t know what I am going to do.”
“What do you want to do?”
I huff out a humorless laugh. “I want to tell her that she was wrong about me and that I’m not this fucked-up guy who isn’t good enough for her.” My stomach clenches at the vulnerability I’m still getting used to showing when I admit, “I want to beg her to give me a second chance. To prove that I’m better.”
Pamela gives me a sympathetic look. “Ian, I know this is hard for you to accept, but even before you came to me, you weren’t fucked up. And you were more than good enough foranyone.And if this woman couldn’t see it, she wasn’t good enough foryou.”
She’s right—thatishard for me to accept. But she’s wrong about something else.
Maggie was more than good enough for me. She was perfect.
10
Maggie
Four months later - December
“Maggie, you don’t have an option.” Jenson hides none of the frustration in his tone.
I grit my teeth when I reply, “I know I don’t have an option. I was simply asking if we could put them off for a few weeks. I just started this job a couple of months ago.”
Jenson jams his hands on his hips and stares at the ceiling for a moment. I curl further into myself, where I sit on my couch. He showed up minutes after I got home from work to inform me that I have to go back to Chicago in two days for a pre-trial deposition or something with the prosecutor.
“You’re a barista in a coffee shop, not the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I think it’ll be okay.”
Shame heats my skin. I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life, and just happened to fall into my job in Chicago. But the way Jenson says that, any inadequacy I’ve ever felt ricochets in my brain, telling me I’m not good enough. Just a barista with a fake name, alone in a city I had never visited until I moved here a little over a year ago.
When I got the office manager job at the medical supply company, where I met Ella, I was really proud of myself. But after everything with Ella, it was time for me to leave. I decided to put my love of coffee into a job and applied at a local coffee shop. It’s fun, and obviously the perks are great, but he’s right. It doesn’t matter if I lose my job. I’m not important. They’d replace me before I’m out the door.
I concede with a heavy sigh. “I’ll work it out. What time do I leave?”
His face is blank when he says, “Friday at nine sharp. I’ll be here to pick you up.”
I nod, wishing I had a marshal assigned to me who didn’t hate me. I have no idea what I did to make him loathe me from the moment I met him. Though I guess the girlfriend of a low-level gangster who killed people and dealt drugs doesn’t garner a lot of sympathy from law enforcement, even if I had nothing to do with it.
“Can I see my family when I’m in town?”
The only thing worse than fearing for my own life is being taken away from my family. I miss my parents so much. And my sister and brother have always been my best friends. It’s been torture not being able to even call them. Jenson says after the trial, something can be arranged periodically to see them, but because of the people my ex was involved with, I doubt I’ll ever be out of Witness Protection. And I would just be putting all of us at risk. That’s something I’ll never be able to live with.
“Doubt it.” Jenson makes it clear he doesn’t care and will make no effort to see if it’s possible.
My eyes fall closed as the door slams shut behind him when he leaves. Fear and loneliness burrow so deeply into my bones that they feel like they may crack apart at any moment.
Hopefully, one day, I’ll learn to accept what my new life looks like. But today isn’t that day.
“Bye!I’ll see you in a few days.” Waving to my coworkers, I pull the apron over my head and drape it over my arm. I smile at the returning waves and shouted goodbyes before taking another step toward the door. My gaze hits the man stepping inside, and my feet freeze, body heating immediately. As his intense stare lasers into me, a breathless, “Ian,” leaves my lips.
His steps resume before mine do, and his long strides close the distance between us. He stops a few inches from me. “Maggie. What are you doing here?”
I raise my arm with the apron and explain, “I work here.”
His brow furrows. “Since when?”
With a shrug, I say, “Two months or so. I figured after everything with Ella, it wasn’t a good idea to stay at my old job.”
He nods slowly, as if contemplating what I said. “Probably a good idea,” he mumbles, his stare never leaving me.
