Until he isn’t.
My dreams were bittersweet. And much too reminiscent of my real life. It’s rude that my mind can’t even pretend that I get what I want.
I didn’t hear from Marcus after I left him. I hope that means his boss was, at least for now, satisfied with the payment I made. Before I go check on Benny and fly out, I need to see if I can get a loan to help pay back this moneyBenny owes. While lying in bed last night, I realized that any money going forward would need to go toward paying off this debt, even if that means Benny has to leave treatment. I don’t want that, but the alternative is for them to go after Benny. And that’s much scarier than him not being in the rehab facility.
I have no idea if I’ll be able to get a loan. My credit isn’t terrible, and while I don’t make a ton of money, my salary is decent. I’m hoping that I can get an amount that will appease them.
Them.
Drug dealers.
What is my life?
Angry heat flares through my system. What did Benny think would happen when he made the incredibly dumb decision to sell drugs? And then lose the drugs, or maybe the money? It infuriates me that he would do something that would not only put himself in danger but me. And now, I’m once again cleaning up his mess, just as I have done his entire life. I know that’s probably part of the problem, but I suppose, at this point, it doesn’t matter.
With a frustrated sigh, I fling the comforter off me and get out of bed.
Two hours later,I’m sitting at the loan officer’s desk, impatiently watching her processing my loan application, when my phone vibrates in my purse. I pull it out to silence it when I freeze.
Nate.
The overwhelming desire to answer it battles with the hurt I feel at how he treated me. I send him to voicemailbefore smiling back at the woman who holds my future in her hands.
My phone vibrates again.
Nate: Please call me. I want to talk to you about the other day. I want to make this right.
My heart clenches, and I squeeze my eyes shut for a beat. I can’t handle that right now. I blow out a slow breath and slip my phone back into my purse.
The woman clears her throat, drawing my attention. My smile feels strained.
“Miss Moore, I have great news. We’ve approved you for a $40,000 personal loan. As long as you’re good with the monthly payment, we can get you taken care of, and you’ll have your funds deposited within five business days. Let me go grab your paperwork from the printer, and I can go over the details with you.”
As I thank her, relief floods me. Although this won’t cover the entire amount, I hope it’s good enough to keep us both safe while I find a way to pay off the rest.
She comes back in and places the paperwork in front of me. The monthly payment is high, but it’s an amount that I can afford, as long as I don’t spend money on anything besides the bare minimum necessities. I quickly sign the paperwork and shake the woman’s hand.
Stepping outside the bank, I let the sunshine soak into my skin. I don’t want to get too optimistic because that never leads anywhere good, but this little win slightly lessens the tension that’s been engulfing my body.
As soon as I turn out of the parking lot, I head to the rehab facility. I want to see Benny. I need to know he’s doing okay with my own two eyes. I’ve talked to both him andJames on the phone, but it’ll be comforting to see him before I leave town again.
It doesn’t take me long before I pull into a parking spot in front of the building. The frigid air hits me as the automatic doors whoosh open, and I step inside with a slight smile.
A receptionist I haven’t seen before glances up and greets me as I approach her desk. “Hi! How can I help you?”
“I’m here to see Benny Moore.”
Her brow furrows in confusion. “Oh, um, let me check on something.”
I take a small step back, not understanding her response. My stomach turns as her frown deepens.
She glances back up at me. “And what’s your name?”
“I’m his sister, Olive Moore.”
Her sad smile has anxiety tingling in my body. “I’m sorry, Miss Moore. Benny checked himself out last night.”
I rear back. “He checked himself out?” I slam my hands down on the desk. “Was he by himself? How did he leave? Who picked him up?”
