I sink against the wall in a mixture of relief and despair.
Benny isn’t here.
But where the hell is he?
13
Olive
Four hours.
I spent the last four hours driving all over Nashville, going to every one of Benny’s favorite hangouts that I could think of. I knocked on every friend’s door who he might have gone to see.
My cheeks puff as I blow out a breath, staring stare across the street at the small, dilapidated house that the woman who birthed us now calls home. I haven’t talked to her in years. And usually, I have no interest. But I’m desperate. I would’ve just called her, but I need to see her to know if she’s lying to me about whether he’s here, or at least if she’s seen him. The only reason I even know where she lives is because she begged me to help her out with rent a few months ago, and I had to bring her the cash because she didn’t have transportation. Who knows if that money even went to her rent or if it just funded her vices.
I heave one last breath and push my car door open. I can already feel my muscles tensing with every step closer. Before I can walk all the way up the driveway, the door opens, and the woman who made our childhood miserable steps out.
“I thought that was you.” She takes a long draw of her cigarette as she watches me with guarded eyes.
I stop a few feet from her on the cement walkway leading to the door. All I can manage is a terse, “Delores.”
She tips her head back and blows smoke out of her wrinkled lips.
“Have you seen Benny recently?” I don’t need to waste my time making pleasantries with her. Neither of us wants that.
She scowls at me, scoffing. “Why the hell would I have seen him? Poor excuse for a son, if you ask me.”
Regretting my decision to come here, I shake my head, turning to walk back to my car. “Thanks for nothing.” I glance over my shoulder one last time. “As usual.”
My mother spits out, “Bitch.”
I don’t even look back when the door slams.
Eventually,I run out of places to look for him, and I’m unsure where else he might be. I return to my apartment, feeling even more dejected and hopeless. Even though my stomach is in knots, I’ll have to go back to work. I can’t lose my only source of income on top of everything else. James will have to keep up the search in my absence, and I hope we find Benny sooner rather than later.
My body aches as I climb the stairs to my apartment. Once again, my mind wanders to Nate.
What’s he doing now? If I remember the schedule correctly, they’re in Cincinnati. He doesn’t seem like a player, but I wonder if he’s found someone else to fill his nights. I instantly feel ashamed that I’m thinking about myself and wishing I were there with him instead of here looking for Benny.
Unlocking my front door, I wipe the tears slipping down my cheeks.
A low noise makes me freeze as I push the door open. My eyes fly to the couch. Benny’s sprawled out, his eyes half closed. He moans softly as his arms and legs fidget.
“Benny, oh my god. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Rushing across the living room, I drop to my knees next to him.
I gently place my hand on Benny’s arm to calm him. His skin is ashen, hair dirty and unkempt. He smells like he hasn’t showered in a couple of days.
“Benny?” I call out to see if I can get any reaction from him or if he’s too far gone to acknowledge me.
He mumbles something unintelligible. I drop back to sit on my feet, watching him.
He’s home. That’s all that matters right now. He’s alive.
I keep repeating that as I pull out my phone.
“Olive? Any updates?”
“James, can you come over? I just got home. Benny’s here. He isn’t in good shape.” My voice breaks with emotion.
